Post # 1
Ok I will try to keep it short.
Brother-In-Law went to jail. Mother-In-Law passed away. SO moved down to be with his father through the tough times. SO and I started dating.
His father always seemed to like me ok even though I am no where near the quiet submissive Guatemalan woman I suspect he dreamt up for his son. However, the second we got engaged the problems started.
1) We had an engagement party to celebrate with friends that we couldn’t afford to invite to the wedding and Father-In-Law became very upset that he was not formally invited even though he knew it was all friends and he wasn’t disinvited either.
2) He made a comment to the effect of “Well I got through BIL’s imprisonment and MIL’s death, I’ll get through this also.” (at which point Fiance talked to him about how he should not be treating our wedding as another disaster, but he was just like “well I didn’t mean it that way” and did not apologize.
3) He is constantly trying to make Fiance feel overwhelmed with the wedding and like he can’t do things for the karate show he is organizing because of the wedding.
4) We were explaining to him that he might get a lawsuit if he continues to let kids out of the karate school he owns without supervision/a parent and he said “Well you guys might rethink your marriage in ten years, that’s life.”
5) We did not invite plus ones and asked him not to bring a date because he is not in a serious relationship. A few weeks after he made Fiance feel guilty about it to the point were he consented. This is a very sore point for me because he completely went over my head.
I suspect a lot of this stems from the fact that Fiance and I will be moving after the wedding across the state. However, that does not make it ok for him to be completely malignant towards me and our wedding. He LOVES to play the “poor widow” card even though he has more girlfriends than he could handle. And I can’t really confront him. Fiance has tried but Father-In-Law will never apologize. At this point I just don’t want such a negative person at my wedding, but since it is FI’s ONLY family, I can’t say that either. I’m just so frustrated with all this.
Post # 3
haha. I didn’t keep it short. Sorry! Hope someone reads it anyway.
Post # 4
Sorry to hear you’re having so many issues with your Future Father-In-Law. It sounds like he’s a real piece of work and knows how to manipulate his son! I don’t have much advice except to keep your chin up and roll with his antics. After the wedding, you’ll be able to distance yourselves from him by moving across the state. I hope things turn out a little better for you, but only a few more months to go!
Post # 5
As long as your Fiance is standing up for you, then grin and bear it – it will all be over soon.
Post # 6
I feel your pain. I went through some terrible times with my Father-In-Law too. My Father-In-Law on numerous occasions have said that my FI’s ex-gfs were much prettier, smarter, and overall was a better person than I was. The only thing that helped me deal with this was my Fiance. He really understood that I was going to all of this to be with him.
Post # 7
I love my Future Father-In-Law but a very good friend of mine has a Father-In-Law from h*ll! He’s terrible! She’s been married for a year and they were together for 2 years before that, so a total of 3 years together and her Father-In-Law STILL talks about his son’s ex-girlfriend! They dated for like 5 years and apparently she was a psycho but the father LOVED her! I have actually heard her Father-In-Law tell her that she’s not as pretty. At the rehersal dinner the FIL told her in front of me that even though he likes so and so better and thinks shes a much better fit for his son, she’s not that bad and he wasn’t joking!!! She is now 3 months pregnant and her Father-In-Law has said that the baby won’t be as cute as it would have been if his son had married so and so.
Post # 8
@Ms.Charleston Pearls – HAVE MERCY!! Your friend and I would have a lot to talk about. =) I actually wouldn’t doubt that my Future Father-In-Law will say that our baby won’t be as cute as he/she would’ve been if it were my Fiance & his ex’s baby.
@babymilka74 – I don’t ever except an apology from him. For me, expecting that from him makes it harder on me. He is not a nice person to say the least. I just live with it and keep my distance. The more he does to offend me and hurt me the more distant I get.
Post # 9
Sorry to hear about your Father-In-Law.
You might want to sit him down and let him know how his comments are making you feel.
I know I had to do this with my Father-In-Law. My Father-In-Law has been married twice 1st time for about 5 years and he said the only reason why he got married to that woman was because the other women in his life didn’t know about her and vice versa. He is now in his second marriage to my Fiance mother. They have been together for about 36 years Married for 30. Anyways, my Fiance and I were over their house and he tells my Fiance right in front of me “The second marriage is always the best marriage”. I let it go the first time but the second time I let him know that his son was only getting married once and that time will be with me so there are no second marriages in his son’s future.