Post # 1
But seriously I just can’t deal with mine sometimes!
Just need to vent a little..
My dad’s parents have always been less than stellar. We moved across the country and it became “out of sight, out of mind.” They just aren’t super family oriented people, and weren’t the nicest to grow up around (for my dad and his siblings.) So my dad wasn’t too heart broken when he decided to move us. Now anytime we visit them, they are emotional and regretful for not seeing us, BUT it isnt until that point when we are on the doorstep do they pay attention to anything going on in our lives. It’s really hard to maintain long distance relationships, with family or friends, and t’s really hard for me to be close to them.
All of that aside, we truly don’t know if they will be coming to my wedding. It’s not a definite yes, like I don’t think “Oh they totally wouldn’t miss it.” but then I also think they WOULDN’T because come on, I am their granddaughter that they hardly see.. So I don’t know.
My mom text me today saying “Why didn’t we think of having the wedding in NY (where the majority of my family is) And my stomach just dropped. I told her the people who have been consistant in my life no matter what part of the country we are living in WILL come because they care, and WANT TO. If my grandparents choose not to, then that shows their character, I DON’T think bringing the wedding to them is fair. Plus, I want to have it here. This is where we live. This is our life now and has been for the last 7 years.. Something they just don’t grasp.
I know my dad is upset because he can’t even tell me a yes or no about his parents coming. That’s shitty. And I feel really bad for him because I know it upsets him. But it is what it is.
I am thinking of calling my grandma for my dad’s sake and asking her to please give me a definite yes or no so my family can stop worrying.
Thanks for letting me rant, bees!
Post # 3
NY to CA is far. Can you do a little party for them, vow renewal of sorts?
My grandmother is not frail but dosn’t like travel….250 miles is going to be tough on her. My other grandparents are a bit tougher, but they don’t fly….they even drive down to Flordia for their snowbird behavior. I’m glad it’s drivable. They are more or less like your grandparents…not with their kids, but with their grandkids definatly. They love us, will shower us with attention when we are close…but more or less forget about us for the rest of the year. For those of us who live far, it’s hard.
Perhaps your family isn’t handling it best, but 3000 miles, is typically alot for older people.
Post # 4
@searock: I’m not in California, i’m in Colorado but I understand what you’re saying & know that it is far. I just hate seeing my mom and dad upset about it.
Post # 5
@thehappiestbridetobe: I’m betting its probably not you that is upsetting them, but seeing their parents get older. My parents are really fit, but its upsetting to see the signs. It’s hard to see my grandparents age, and I know seeing her mom slowly loose abilities is REALLY, REALLY emotional for my mom.
My grandmother is native american and wanted to go to the vatican when the first natie american saint was cannonized (recognized by the Catholic Church). She’d saved and prayed for 20+ years to do so. I cannot accurately describe to you the pain my mother went through when she let my grandmother know that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea.
You are dealing with your own disappointment, and to you it seems very vague and crazy that your parents don’t have an answer. But sometimes there isn’t one. Sometimes it’s very hard.
So who knows.
Post # 6
@thehappiestbridetobe: I know how you feel and it sucks. Family drama is a complete pain in the butt at any time but when it comes to weddings it’s 1000 times worse.
Hopefully they decide to suck it up and come.