(Closed) I know he’s about to ask but I don’t feel that happy…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@coo:  Are you afraid if you let it get to the engagement stage something could change and cause a breakup? It sounds like you don’t feel totally secure in your situation (wanting more kids and not being married) which is why you’ve pushed for engagement. Are you afraid things will change once you actually have the ring?

Try to remember all the reasons you want to be married, and yes, STOP provoking your man into arguments for no reason. It sounds like you have a man who stood by you and your child after your ex took off, don’t punish him for someone else’s mistakes. If you want to be a family go be a family. Marriage is a leap of faith but very much worth it if you have found the right person, and from the sound of it, this is the right person for you, the man you want a family with. Don’t fixate on the ring (no one really cares after the first few weeks anyway) and make “The Relationship” the focus of your relationship, think about how many good things there will be to look forward to.

Post # 5
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

First of all – take a deep breath. There, better? it’s just cold feet I think. You sound like you have a great thing going and you know it too. Sometimes (for most of us) when everything is great we start to panic that what if this all goes to hell? Is this too good to be true? Do I deserve this? It can’t last forever right etc etc. it’s completely normal. Give your other half a break though and enjoy it for what it is. From your story it seems you are already a family, even in the laws eyes you are common law as you have lived together for over a year right? This only makes it official to everyone else, in your heart you know that you already are a family and that this is right. I know it’s super exciting and at the same time you worry until it actually happens (or at least I did) even though you KNOW it is happening. It’s like a build in self defence thing. I am sure it will all go well, you will be super happy when he asks and things will be fine. Relax and enjoy this time, and focus on what you have today, now what you want for tomorrow. 🙂

xx

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

Double post, sorry!
 

 

Post # 7
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It might be that you have some resentment built up because of it taking too long… I was like this but it all went away after he proposed. 

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