(Closed) I know he’s not cheating but this is really weird…….

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

haha wow.. yeah I wouldnt think too much of it because sounds like when he talks about her, its work related. I am a secretary for all men.. and I used to be VERY close to one of the guys here, also much older and married (he no longer works here). I was around him the most during my work days and we would talk about everything. It wasnt romantic at all though! Basically just life in general. I would have even said he turned into a bestfriendatwork haha. I think I would go home and tell my husband all about the things I did at work and the crazy story’s my coworker had shared or whatever crazy dance he did in the office.

Now I can see how it could have been annoying and I wonder if my husband felt the same way as you.

Post # 4
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you may be overreacting.  He just seems to like his job and the women he works with!  Better than him hating the people he works with.  I really dont think you should let this bother you!

Post # 5
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Maybe he just wants you to know about his time at work and these Mary stories are the only thing worth mentioning.  I know my Fiance will talk about his co-workers and bosses when I ask him about his day because he knows that his actual work is not as exciting.  He’s an electrician so he could tell me about how he installed electrical panels, or he could tell me about how his boss’ wife is having a birthday party over the weekend.

I would worry about it, but I can see how you could feel jealous.  Talk to your Fiance about how you feel.

Post # 6
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

 btw maybe you can jokingly bring it up to him like “what is it with this mary lady, why are you always talking about her?! & see what he says”

Post # 7
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Honestly, I think he is just trying to talk to you about his office and that might be the only part that he feels comfortable talking about.  My husband can’t talk about his work because he has a security clearance so he can only really tell me stories about the people that he works with.

Post # 8
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it. Some people just bond more with others – it doesn’t really matter what sex they are since he’s acting appropriately and not trying to hide anything. 

Post # 9
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe Mary is chatty so he can’t HELP but know everything about her.

If he only has contact really with two people and one of them is a guy chances are the woman talks more so that’s probably the reason he talks about her – since she’s really the only one he’s bonded with.

Plus if you’re spending 40+ hours a week with someone you’re bound to talk about them if you actually get along with them.

Post # 11
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’ll chime in and say that the hubs and I talk a LOT about our coworkers with each other. I’m not sure why, but we like to know what the other does at work all day long, and sales reports aren’t super interesting. I think this is just his way of trying to let you in. I wouldn’t worry about it at all. Maybe Mary’s a really fun character at work?

If you really can’t stand to hear about Mary, calmly say, “Hun, I love hearing about your day, but I hear an awful lot about Mary. Maybe we could slow down the Mary  talk? It’s just hard for me to relate because I don’t work there.”

Post # 12
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

She seems like more of an office mom to him than any competition to you.

Post # 13
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t know, I have a new story to tell my Fiance about my coworker Adam several times per week, and I can guarantee there’s nothing shady going on.  It’s just that we have a lot in common and a lot of things to talk about, and they’re things I think my Fiance would want to hear, too.  I’m always like “Adam won really good seats to tonight’s baseball game!” or “Adam is going to wear a CAMO vest to his wedding, isn’t that awful?!”  He’s the person I talk to most at work, so of course I’m going to have the most stories about him.

I think he’s just excited about his new friend.  I wouldn’t be worried.

Post # 14
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

well if its a small office you tend to get to know your officemates very well; she must be a very jolly person and maybe even motherly; he must have gotten very close to her and likes her a lot…as a co-worker, I wouldnt worry about it, i think you are just jealous of the time he takes talking about her, concentrate on the two of you instead of people around; I have co-workers i tend to like more than others

Post # 15
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s likely you don’t have anything to worry about.  Basic male gender behaviors–come home and ‘gab’ his day out.  Mary is obviously a big enough part of that to include.  This is sometimes used as a way to include you on how his day went.  Whether you care or not, he’s looking to converse about it–and who better than you to do that with? 

Both you and he will forge new recreational and professional ‘friendships’ over the years with people of all ages, sizes, and regardless of their number of children will still likely have something in common and know way too much about one another.  Workplace osmosis–you absorb a lot of information whether you want to or not.

Hang in there and relax. Be happy he wants to share with you.  It is when he stops that you might have something to worry about.

Post # 16
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I picture Mary as that co-worker who tells you everything even if you do not want to hear it.  And the fact that your Fiance is listening is nice.  This woman is probably so starved for attention or friends that she thinks that telling everyone everything is the way to get it.

Look at this in a good way.  Your Fiance is very aware and can repeat things he was told.  So you should have no problem with him forgetting any importand dates or anything you ask.

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