(Closed) I know I should be grateful, but…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

if they’ve cheaped out, just write one card.  they’re work friends, so should be fine.

Post # 19
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The fact is, no one is obligated to give you a gift, and complaining about the price of a GIFT, as well as going on about how much money someone does or does not have, is horribly rude.

Post # 20
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you should be gracious (and grateful!) and send each person their own thank you note. 

Post # 21
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

View original reply
@NellieX Right on. A wedding gift is nice to receive, but should never be expected. And expecting a gift of a certain value based on a guest’s income is just asking to be disappointed.

@redherring: Be a big girl and write three thank you notes.

Post # 22
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Speaking as a professor – just because we make make more money, it does not necessarily mean we have more to spend. Do you know your professor’s expenses? I for one run a private animal sanctuary where it costs me $400/mo just in food for the animals alone. Add in the cost of vet bills, and you get the picture. I sure the students whose weddings I attended were shocked by my standard $50 gift.

Post # 23
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I try not to judge people’s financial standings. You never know all about people’s financial burdens. Just because they don’t talk about them doesn’t mean they don’t exist – mortgages, monthly utlities, child support, alimony, past taxes, student loans, paying for a sick parent, medical expenses, car lease, business ventures, etc. These things cannot always be avoided. Be thankful, throw the three thank you cards in the mailbox, and move on from the situation. Congrats on your wedding.

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