(Closed) I know I’m being ridiculous…

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

It doesn’t sound like you’re crazy.  How old are you, if I may ask?  I don’t think it’s a problem for you to leave a change of clothes or something like that at his house, I mean what if you had something spill on you or if y’all decided that you were going to a nice restaurant or a casual one and you couldn’t go home?  I honestly think he’s not “there” yet mentally.  Perhaps he is more worried about fixing the house up and after he finishes he will ask you…

Post # 4
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

Dreamer, I know what you mean, I was there. I was that girl that moved into her bf’s apt with no stuff there (it makes you feel sad!) and I was that girl that had two years left but wanted that ring SO BAD. And I know that nothing I say now is going to help you feel better totally, you’re still going to go to bed with that desperate wanting feeling.

It will come. He already told you his timeline, which I think makes a lot of sense. I think it’s also healthy to start setting a more strict timeline as you get closer, though. I mean, my guy had no idea i’d need at least a year to plan. And try not to fight about it, but instead, put that energy elsewhere. Write down your feelings in a journal or completely throw yourself into something (mine is cooking or working out when i feel bad)

Finally… if you do keep getting frustrated, you should definitely tell him it’s just because you’re frustrated–you know you want to be with him for the rest of your life and it bugs you that you aren’t taking that step yet. That it’s hard for you and that you just need a little understanding from his side, since it seems like you’re on his timeline. Good luck and best wishes!!!!

 

Post # 5
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh, and seriously… he has a dresser, right? Take the bottom drawer for your stuff. Just put it all back before you leave 🙂 Change of clothes, socks, spare makeup/toiletries should all fit!

Post # 7
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS))  Did you let him know you’d like a longer engagement and that it’s okay to get engaged now because you wouldn’t get married for a few months after you are done with school?

Post # 10
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

hah sounds like my bf. I’m 22 and he’s 26 I’m in my final year of college should graduate by December *eek, but he too wants to wait for me to graduate before he asks, which completely annoys me. I have learned to live with it and just spend my time studying, doing my own thing, and day dreaming. I don’t want him to feel pressured nor do I want to cause a fight about something that should be special. When it happens it happens. With your belongings, just take some of your stuff and put it somewhere. If you have been with him for two years, then you should feel comfortable with that and just like someone else said take your thngs ha

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

youre not crazy, youre just ready for your life with your DB to start NOW and your facing a 2yr delay for school (smart smart choice btw) and then not even having a draw to keep your stuff in would be as frustrating as heck for me

in the meantime, how do you feel about a promise ring? ive heard other ladies talk about them and maybe this is something you guys will consider without the pressure or stress of planning a marriage

 

Post # 12
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

hmmm. Got a spare dresser? Just kidding.

I know what you mean. After a while, I just felt like it was something I couldn’t talk about anymore, no matter how open he was about wanting to marry me. I kept a journal and man did I write like crazy. If I was somewhere without it, I’d text myself my frustrations or email them to get them out. It was fun to destroy it the day we got engaged…

And if you have to hide your change of clothes, here’s my solution: where he has his shirts hung, take one he uses very very little, hang yours underneath on the hanger then hang his directly over it. Pants? fold those in half under another of his shirts. Put them at the back of the closet. Problem solved. 

Post # 13
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

youre not being ridiculous… waiting that long must feel like forever. but you have a timeline and hopefully he will get into gear soon because planning is not easy!!

Post # 15
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re welcome. I’m like the queen of halfway living with someone… I am still doing it! JUST EIGHT AND A HALF MORE MONTHS!

Post # 16
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@dreamer: lol!!! i honestly wanted a really short engagement (6 months or less) but then i loved the idea of celebrating nye on my honeymoon, so that trumped everything else lol!!

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