(Closed) I know I’m going to be waiting for years….

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MissOtter31: I certainly did. I was 19 and a freshman in college when we started dating. When I was 21, after spending 9 months in a long distance relationship, we started discussing marriage and that we wanted it. He made it expressly clear he would not propose until we were financially stable with good jobs. And boy, did he keep to that! But, soon after we moved across the country together and started our jobs, he did propose, and now we get our happily ever after. Even if he had proposed so many years ago, we would have to wait to get married due to finances, so it all makes sense! (Oh, we will have been together 6 years when we get married)

Hang in there! As long as you guys are committed to each other and happy together, nothing else really matters.

Post # 4
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

Awwww welcome- just keep busy, trust me the years fly by when you are busy with other goals.

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hello and welcome – and join the club I’m afraid! Most guys want to get things sorted before making a proposal – you know education over and done with, steady job. Make sense in a way practically as then you can afford the wedding, but sadly they are not sentimental like us ladies who would forgo the price of the ring for the promise of getting married!

Post # 7
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I never had any desire to get engaged while I was in college – of course, I was 20 and just a bit more than 1 1/2 years from graduating when I started dating my current boyfriend.

I’ve always thought it’s a little silly, too, to get engaged if you’re not going to start seriously planning the wedding and setting a date.

Post # 8
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

@MissOtter31: I think that you’re incredibly smart for recognizing that its important for you both to finish college and become stable and secure before engagement. My boyfriend during college actually asked me to marry him, and I said no because I wanted to finish my BA first. I told him that if he still wanted to marry then, it would be okay at that time. I am 26 now and looking back on it, that was the best decision I could have made! Granted, we ended up breaking up and I would be miserable and probably divorced had I married him, lol…but I just knew it was too soon at 20/21 years old and it would behoove me to wait. I think your thinking is right on track and when you guys are a bit older, you will APPRECIATE your line of thinking.

Post # 9
Member
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m so glad to hear from someone else in the same boat! My boyfriend and I have already been together for 7 1/2 years now (we started dating when we were 14!), and we probably won’t be in a position to get married for another 3 years or so!! We’re both still finishing our undergraduate degrees and then I want to do postgrad study, so it will be several years before I’m earning any money ๐Ÿ™ It’s hard because we both know we’ve found the one, but we’re just enjoying being young and in love ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I can understand! However, I’m coming from your SO’s side. I wanted to get married right away. A lot of my cousins and friends got married around the ages of 21-24, so I thought that was normal. My Fiance and I started dating when he was 18 and I was 20. By the time I hit 23, I was feeling ready, but he wasn’t. He still had to finish undergrad, and I knew he was going for a PhD. By the time we get married next year, I will have my master’s, and he will be one year away from his PhD. I still feel frustrated at times (like now, I feel like I have just about caught up to the wedding aspect, but now all of those friends are having babies), but I know that things will be easier for us than it was for others.

  Besides, thinking of those four couples that got married in that age frame…two of them are already divorced and on their second marriage. Not that I’m slamming them, but it does make me feel better that we’re waiting.

Post # 12
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I know I’ve got about 1-2 years left to go before I get a ring. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are out of school. I have a steady job and my own apartment with savings but the Boyfriend or Best Friend is way behind. He works in a restaurant and is trying to get back on his feet financially. I asked him last night how much money he has total and how much credit card debt. It really set a lightbulb off that I shouldn’t really be bringing up weddings and rings because the boy needs to save first and needs to focus on getting rid of the credit card debt before he can think that getting married is a possibility.

I feel like waiting will be good for us. I think we’ll get a lot of our issues resolved before we get married (we don’t have a lot but it’ll be good to become stronger) so when we do get hitched, it’ll be bliss. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MissOtter31: I waited for about a year to be engaged. We were originally going to be engaged until we graduated, then get married that summer, but we couldn’t wait quite that long. Maybe you could be engaged for a long time, and then you’d be secure in what’s going to happen? Then when you graduate, you can get married?

Post # 14
Member
13 posts
Newbee

You could always simply have a long engagement.  I did (or should I say, would have, long story) the first time I was engaged.  I’m not exactly sure why people seem to have some sort of imaginary set timetable from ring to wedding day.  Get your rock, proudly wear it for 3 years, and take your time planning the wedding and living your lives together.  To me, that is actually more of an ideal.  It’s saying, we love each other and are committed, and we’re planning a future together.  It’s relationship security without pressure.

Post # 15
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@IrisLaRue: That, and you can start budgeting/saving money so it won’t be a strain!

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