(Closed) I know Im not alone when it comes to hurtful relatives, but reassure me?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your stepdaughter is going to mimic everything you do, so maybe she should go live with her grandparents until you figure yourself out.

Whoa. Not cool. 

I’m sorry, I don’t have any advice for you but please be reassured that your grandmother saying these things to you is not normal and would hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t think you need thicker skin so much as your grandmother needs to be more supportive of you!

Post # 5
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@punkin83:  So rude!  I’ve had my fair share of very rude and insensitive relatives.  I may be a little more unforgiving than the average person, but I’ve basically blocked those negative people out of my life.  My grandma used to send me racially insensitive emails and tell me how she thought interracial relationships were wrong (I am in an interracial relationship) and so now, I don’t really have a relationship with my grandma.  She’s invited to the wedding of course, and other wedding related events, but we just never talk.

I think all you can do is live your life to please yourself and not others.  If they don’t like it, that’s their problem.  

Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

You are definitely not alone.  I think everyone has someone in their life like this. All you can do is tune them out and not let it get to you or you’ll drive yourself crazy.

In my life it’s my Mother-In-Law.  Example: she came to see the house Darling Husband and I just purchased. Our very first house.  She walks in and says “Congratulations!  But there is so much work you need to do here.  So many things are so ugly.  Are you going to change the floor and the light fixtures?”  Umm, we weren’t planning on it.   Yeah I was boiling.  But nothing you do is going to change the person.  You just have to ignor them.

Post # 7
Member
532 posts
Busy bee

You are definitely not alone. I love my mom but sometimes her comments cut like a knife. Nothing is ever good enough. I try to ignore her and take her comments with a grain of salt. Just keep telling yourself that it is their issues that cause them to make these hurtful comments, it has nothing to do with you.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

had to read it twice but i finally get it… grandma is a bitch

Post # 11
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Misery likes company, my Future Mother-In-Law is like that, never has anything nice to say becuase she is miserable herself. She finds the downside to everything, nothing is good enough ever. Don’t let it get to you, honestly.

Post # 12
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ughh! Tjose comments are horrible and I don’t blame you for having hurt feelings. I agree @eloping:  she is a bitch. Don’t let her get you down!

Post # 13
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@eloping:  THIS.

 

Some people believe that because they are “family” they can say hurtful things and must be forgiven….those same people though would likely never forgive being spoken to in the same manner.

Post # 14
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

lol read some of my older posts, you’ll be amazed and thankful. 😉 (kidding… kinda) but my heart goes out to you and I know how painful that can be. You’re NOT alone. 

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

sigh, THOSE relatives. lol. my aunts actually have a running bet — for a few years now, that i’ll get pregnant before getting married. we come from a catholic/traditional family so you can imagine that that’s one of the worst things that can happen, at least in their eyes.

 

gee, thanks for wishing me the best aunties. Yell

 

you’re definitely not alone. guess some people just feel the need to bring others down and perhaps we’ll never understand. and regardless of what grandma says, you know in your heart that you’re doing great. aren’t SDs supposed to hate their stepmoms??? lol

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