(Closed) I know I'm not alone…share your cooking fails

posted 6 years ago in Cooking
Post # 17
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Once I set a toaster on fire while trying to toast a Pop Tart. Ultimate fail.

Post # 18
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t ruin much cooking-wise because there are definitely ways to save lots of mistakes!  I make more baking ones because it’s more sensitive to minor details.

A few weeks ago I was going to make an apple streudel.  When you use phyllo sheets you are supposed to put butter over the entire sheet and I just put it at the edges connecting two sheets.

So when I went to fold it into shape the entire thing crackled into little pieces and fell apart because all the dough had dried out. 

Not really sure what I was thinking, other than pregnancy brain since I knew what I was supposed to do and just didn’t do it.

Luckily I had only used half the box so I just re-did it.  Still irritating.

Post # 19
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well I just made fondant that tastes like soap… soo… I feel ya.

Post # 20
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t cook much, luckily Fiance is an amazing cook! I have a few things I can cook, mostly baked dishes. One day Fiance asked to grill some fish on the stove top, I figured I watched him do it a hundred times I could figure it out. It was a fail. The fish completely fell apart into little pieces all over the skillet. My Fiance ended up coming home in the middle of it and made fish taco’s out of it. 

Post # 23
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@littlemisst08:  i screwed up mac and cheese. something very simple.

I was so excited because the chef who had a video on it and made it, is amazing and his came out super creamy.

I used too much pasta  for the amount of sauce I made. and it was super dry and Darling Husband was like “its so goooodd” and I am like why are you lying!!!! LOL

Post # 24
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Meant2Bee:  I did that too.  And then I turned the fish bits into salmon cakes, and made it a food save.

I’m one of those cooks that goes “A and B are good together in recipie Y, so lets try it in recipe Zebra and see what comes out.”  99% of the time it works out, but the fails that happen this way can be epic. 

Post # 25
3075 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Made hamburger helper mac and cheese without the hamburger. It was gross I thought it would come out like regular ol mac and cheese. Also I have under.cooked chicken twice 🙁 .

Post # 26
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Cooking fails? Have you got a week? lol

I love cooking but I’ll be the first person to admit I’m no Gordon Ramsay. 

My Mum had major surgery recently and had to stay in the hospital for a little over a week. I offered to cook for my Dad. So I noticed there was some cottage cheese sitting in the fridge that had to be used the same day or it would go bad and I bravely decided to make some cottage cheese spoon dumplings. I didn’t have a recipe but I was fairly confident I could do this because come on, spoon dumplings? I helped my Granny make those when I was 4 or 5, I had this, right? WRONG! 

So I took out a mixing bowl and mixed cottage cheese with an egg and then added flour. I thought the dough looked a little funny but I boiled my salty water anyway, took out my spoon and started putting spoon-sized bits of dough into the water, then watched in terror when instead of dumplings, a bunch of wet crumbs started floating around in my pot! My “dumplings” turned out looking like a lumpy porridge! 

My Dad ate it anyway and later bragged to my Mum about being very brave Laughing
My Mum was so amused! Turns out, I forgot to add hot water to my dough! D’OH!!!!  

ETA: Oh, and just this week, I learned never to put regular pasta in the same pot with whole wheat pasta. It said 5 minutes on both packets and there was just a little bit left in both of them so I thought I’d combine both kinds of pasta to clear the pantry a little. After 5 minutes, the whole wheat pasta was completely raw so I left it to cook for another two minutes, by which time the regular pasta was so overcooked any self-respecting Italian would spit it right out. *facepalm* 

Post # 27
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Rice drives me crazy.  My parents had a tiered steamer (like this) for the longest time, and you can use it to cook rice, so that’s how I thought you cooked rice.  Then I started seeing Fiance, who’s Vietnamese, and was raised with rice cookers.  His method drove me nuts.  I simply could not comprehend adding an arbitrary amount of rice to the cooker and then adding water until there’s “a knuckle’s worth” above the rice.  WHAT?  No, no, no.  You have to measure the water and the rice in a precise ratio every time, damnit.  So I bought my very own steamer and used that to make rice.  Sure, it took 55 minutes, but it was foolproof, right?

Well, then I decided to switch to brown rice because it’s healthier and heartier.  For one thing, it was a huge struggle getting Fiance on board.  He is deeply suspicious of anything that isn’t white jasmine rice in a 20-lb. bag.  Cous cous, orzo, basmati rice… all imposters.  And as it turns out, my trusty steamer is not up to the task of cooking brown rice.  I’d have to cook it for over an hour to get rid of the crunchy grains, and then the whole mess would end up soggy and mushy.  Not pleasant.  I steeled myself, opened up my laptop, and Googled how to cook brown rice ON THE STOVE.  Till this point I had never, ever cooked rice on the stove because I just didn’t trust it not to burn immediately, but I was sick of my mediocre brown rice.  And hey, what do you know!  The stove method works GREAT!  I now cook all of my rice (brown & white) on the stove.  

I still can’t get the rice part of those Campbell’s baked chicken and rice dishes to turn out right.  It’s ALWAYS undercooked.  And I tried making a copycat recipe of Chipotle’s cilantro lime rice once, which required boiling the rice in chicken broth, and I just could not get the rice to fully cook.

Not to toot my own horn, but I’m a great cook/baker.  I really am.  It’s just that rice is and forever will be my nemesis.

Post # 28
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was making sweet and sour pork, the marinade for the meat has flour, corn starch, pineapple juice, soy sauce, and a few other things.  Somehow I grabbed the container of baking soda instead of the corn starch.  When I mixed it in everything started bubbling and I thought that was weird.  Then I looked over and saw I had just put baking soda in.  Woops.  It tasted a little weird but luckily was still edible!

I also need to chain myself to the oven if I put anything under the broiler.  I usually turn it on and then go do something else and forget about it until I start to smell my food burning!

Post # 29
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I burned Pillsbury crescent rolls the other night. And I have burned refrigerator cookies, you know the ones that are super easy and you just have to break and put in the oven. I am the worst at baking.

Post # 30
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@beachbride1216:  how is that even possible?


the one time that stands out the most was when i cooked a prime rib roast.  i like my prime rib rare and my dh likes it med well – well, but this ended up really rare.  no problem, i just put it back in the oven.  it’s not like we had guests or anything.  seriously, i still hear about it from him.  i love to cook and my dh appreciates it but he still brings up the prime rib; he won’t let me forget it.

i had to remind him that i am only human.  “hello, this is an apron, not a cape”.

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