(Closed) I know it's kind of my fault…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry 🙁 I don’t really see how this is your fault though. If he treats you well, and if this is what you want, then she needs to be at least open to talk with you about why she’s so upset.

“I don’t like him,” isn’t a good enough excuse, IMO.

Post # 4
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i don’t understand why she doesn’t like him?  has she ever given you a specific reason why? (besides she ‘thinks’ he is lying to you)

does she like everyone else or is she one of those people who just don’t like others for no reason?  i would ask for specifics.  if she can’t give you one, then this is her own problem.

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Parents forget that these are your decisions to make. Your young yes but part of being an adult is learning that you can’t make everyone happy. So do what you want and stop trying to talk to her about it. Her feelings are clear and she may be thinking this is a way to control what you do. She may be thinking you won’t get married without her approval.

Post # 6
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I do see her concerns about school – since you will be putting that on hold to follow him. But, this is your life & your decision. I imagine that she will come around after the marriage, and once she sees that it is final.

Best of luck to you!!  

 

Post # 7
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It definatly is NOT your fault.  I know exactly what you are going through as my parents have done the same to me.  I choose to follow my heart though and haven’t talked to them in over a year as they treated my fiancee like crap and I was tired of it.  Don’t let them push you around.

Post # 8
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Absolutely not your fault.  If your mother genuinely has no reason to dislike your Fiance, you aren’t doing anything wrong by living your life.  Your mother sounds like she’s throwing a temper tantrum about the whole thing, which is just terrible and I’m sorry you’re going through this.  If YOU are happy, and YOU love him, that is all that matters.  

Post # 9
Member
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t see how you can be at fault for being in love. If your mom doesn’t have a valid reason for not liking your Fiance then she’s going to have to either deal with your decision or she will be cutting herself out of your life on her own. I understand her concern with you putting school on hold b/c once you stop going it’s harder to go back but I think that all that really matters there is that you follow through and continue after your break.

Post # 11
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Missus_LLC:  Aww thanks!  No one ever agrees with me Wink

Post # 12
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t get it…you can be a child and follow what mommy says or you can be an adult….your mom sounds mental…..

Your mother is treating you like you’re 15, it’s downright strange. 

Post # 13
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP, I don’t see how or why you think this is your fault…what makes you feel this way? A lot of times, I think that when loved ones hate a SO or Fiance, there’s some sort of semi-decent reason behind it. But unless I’m missing something, it doesn’t seem to be the case this time. Try talking to your mom about the SPECIFICS on why she doesn’t like Fiance.

Don’t rush to get married before you are truly ready, but if you are and it makes sense to do it now, and you don’t think your mom will ever approve, then go for it with or without her blessing. 

Post # 14
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I also fail to see what about this is your fault. It kind of sounds like it’s not that she doesn’t like him, but that she doesn’t want to let you go. Of course it doesn’t sound like shed ever admit that. Either way, this is your and your finances decision, and unfortunately for her she doesn’t really get to have a say. 

Post # 16
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sounds like your mom is jealous of your relationship with your Fiance. It’s not your fault that she can’t find happiness in her relationships (my mom also does this) 

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