- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
“It’s not a race.”
Well I know that, but you can’t tell me that after dating a guy for almost 1.5 years you aren’t thinking about getting married?
My boyfriend’s brother and his girlfriend have been dating for about 1.5 years. He’s 24, she’s 21. We don’t get along (it’s a long story, but I am definitely partially at fault for it). BF’s brother likes to make snarky/very rude comments about me and it reached a boiling point a little while ago. I turned to my boyfriend after he told me what his brother said and told him, “I don’t want him at our wedding unless he apologizes, and actually means it.”
Now. I know I’m going to get all the bees who are going to tell me that I should never have said that, but he and his brother don’t really get along (at all). His parents know he can be quite the jerk. (Their words are actually a lot harsher, but since I know I messed up, and even though I have tried to apologize, I can’t be too upset). He actually said he agreed, he didn’t want him there if he was going to continue putting me down.
When we got home from the place where this ‘final’ rude statement was made, my Boyfriend or Best Friend asked me to go inside, and he started talking to his brother. It was awkward as the brother’s gf, bf’s mom, and I sat inside trying to make small talk (I suck so much at small talk).
After it was all done, the boys came inside and didn’t tell anyone what had happened, until later, when my Boyfriend or Best Friend talked to me about what had happened. He told me that his brother didn’t care. He was not ABLE to forgive me because I wasn’t family (we won’t even get started on the things BF’s brother’s Girlfriend has said to his parents!). He also said something about my Boyfriend or Best Friend being crazy for wanting to marry me, and that he would never marry his current Girlfriend. (He’s said some really terrible things about her too…)
Now that is all backstory.
Recently we were all together at the parent’s house again. BF’s mom says “Who ever gets married first can have my old wedding dress and my mom (an amazing seamstress!!!) will alter it for you.”
BF’s brother and his Girlfriend just look at each other and say at almost the same time “Well it’s not a race, we’re not in any rush like some people are.”
Now I just wonder if I’m reading too much into this. Is this supposed to be some slap to the face for wanting to get married? My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have talked, and we know we won’t be getting married anytime too soon, so we’re also not rushing, but we’ve talked about it, put out an idea of where we want to be and what we believe. We’re both on the same page.
Now I know I already have my fair share of personal issues with BF’s brother and his Girlfriend, and I’m apt to interpret everything they say as a put-down aimed at me. Am I being ridiculous? Can people give me a few other horror stories of BF/FI family interactions? I know there are a ton on the boards, but it’s really nice to know you’re not alone in dealing with terrible family, or just specific family members.