(Closed) I know its not about the gifts… but…

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

sounds like thats all ur gonna get.. i highly doubt people are gonna remember or bother to do anything a year after i guess u just gotta not assume that people are gonna be as generous as what you give them credit for.. thats pretty slack they didnt even give you a card at least!

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes, we did. It wasn’t quite that bad, but of the 80-some guests that showed we had maybe 5 gifts at the wedding and 5 or so cards? Granted, a lot of people had gotten us shower gifts, and most of the gifts were from couples, but a lot of people never got us anything. I won’t pretend like I didn’t notice. I’m not bitter or angry by any means, but it IS something you notice when you sit down to write thank-yous!

Post # 5
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh, and I only got one thing in the mail post-wedding (a gift-card from an uncle who couldn’t make the flight). So no, none of the actual guests that came sent anything after. One did send it via mail prior to the wedding that came.

Post # 6
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think a lot of people mail gifts, rather than bring them to the wedding. I think etiquette says they should be sent to the bride’s home. But it’s very possible that it might that is all you’re going to get, which is really too bad. Yes, it’s “rude” to “expect” gifts, but it’s equally rude to attend a wedding and not even get the couple a card.

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had a 80 person wedding, and all but two people were accounted for with their name associated to a gift, and one of those two did send something later, and lots of people that were invited to the wedding and couldn’t make it (we invited 146, but most of our family lives across the country) sent something.

Did you have a shower and get a lot of gifts there?  Or maybe lots of people “went in” on the gifts you did get?

Post # 8
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

That’s kind of a load. I’m sorry. As a guest, I always try to cover my plate, unless I’m at the ceremony to perform a service (usually officiating but sometimes taking pictures.) I’d rather just perform the services as the gift, than for them to pay me money and me gift them something.

Post # 9
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know how you feel. While we did get quite a few gifts I was hurt by the guests that didn’t give a card at least…. hand written post it even? To me it’s like “Thank you for inviting me, had a great time but I don’t want to congratulate you and wish you well.

I would never go to a wedding without a gift or card with $$. You learn a lot about people when you invite them to a wedding. Interesting.

Post # 10
Member
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

it is disheartening, but i would still send out all the thank you cards to guests that attended, to thank them for being part of your day 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

We had four people who didn’t bring a card or gift. I get not being able to afford a gift, although not bringing a card (even a hand-made one!) is something I find odd. We had two of the four people mention to us that they would be sending us something after the wedding but it’s three months later and we never received anything. I sent them all thank you cards any way, to say thanks for attending. 

Post # 12
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That’s weird. Did a lot of people give shower gifts? It seems strange that so few people would give cards…

Post # 13
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We had 100 people at the wedding and 10 people didn’t give gifts.  What was weird to me is that they were all people I’m really close with (aunt, uncle, two cousins, and some coworkers I see everyday).  I did send thank yous to everyone that came though. And no, we didn’t get anything after the wedding, a few people had sent gifts to our house before the wedding.

Post # 15
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Uhmmm I think that’s kind of crazy!!! Really  5 out of 40. I don’t expect expensive gifts or any gift if someone can’t afford it but I definitely agree that a card of congrats is in order for sure, even if it’s a hand written note wishing you many years of happiness. If they bought you gifts at the shower maybe that is all they felt they needed to give. And for me that would be fine, one wedding one gift or card 🙂 Geez I hope some cards turn up in the mail for you or something

Post # 16
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That does suck. But I agree that you should send thank you cards to everyone for attending, not just those who gave gifts. 

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