(Closed) I know its not about the gifts… but…

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 18
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Eh, I don’t think it’s as bad as it sounds.  You had 39 guests, but I doubt they were all single guests.  I’m guessing a lot came as part of a family or couple, in which case I wouldn’t be expecting 39 gifts and/or cards.  I would expect more like 10-20.  Did you get any gifts before the wedding?  What about the shower?  Some people only buy one gift and give it at the shower.  So figure maybe one or two units (families, couples, stag guest) did that.  And who knows, in the next week or two you might be getting a few more gifts.  I’m definitely guilty of ordering gifts either on the wedding date, 1-2 days before, or even 1-2 days after the wedding.  And if I order a gift online, I rarely also bring a card.


Post # 19
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We received about 5 gifts post-wedding, so you may have some still trickle in.

Hate to ask this- but were your card box and gifts supervised during the day? We found out that three of our cards had the contents removed, most likely during the ceremony- cash and gift cards were stolen.

Post # 20
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe your guests were like mine, where families with adult, married children bought one gift/card and all signed it. 

You find out so much about people during the wedding process.

Post # 21
2898 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s ok to be disappointed, everyone loves getting gifts. I do think it’s a bit weird, perhaps you will get a few gifts at a later date. I have never attended a wedding without bringing a gift, I think it’s terribly bad form. 

Post # 22
44 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

It never even crossed my mind to go to a wedding without a gift!  My parents (and now me) have always followed the rule of giving a gift at least enough to cover your plate (assuming a per person fee at reception halls).  99% of people I know have pretty nice and standard weddings at a hall, so I’ve never gone with less than $75 with a date or $50 for myself.  I figure one nice dinner and a night of drinks (assuming open bar) and dancing would cost me well over $50 anyway, so I might as well give it to people I love!

Our family and friends pretty much follow the same rule.  At my brothers’ weddings, everyone (at least on our side) gave a gift and most were $100+ checks in addition to generous shower gifts.  This is pretty much the norm in italian families.

It is interesting to see how everyone thinks of these things differently!

Post # 23
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow.  That seems low to me personally.  However, I tend to buy gifts after the wedding, and have them mailed to the couple’s home.  I think it’s easier on the couple to NOT have to bring gifts home after the wedding.

I hope people are more thoughtful about at least sending a card. 

Post # 24
7767 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I only had a few guests, but no cards nothing.  It is not you, just know that- it is them.  I think a card with a note is something I would always bring, but others- not so much.  One person literally told me they would come, why not, for the free food, and then did not even show up (it was a friend’s boyfriend).  People are rude.

Post # 25
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Iowa

Our wedding was the same day as yours and we had a few who didn’t give cards/gifts, but of 150 invitations we had at least 90 cards/gifts.  A couple people just forgot and we received them in the mail. I’ve gotten 6 cards since then.

I can see some of the single guys not even thinking to bring a card, but what baffles me is that husband’s sister didn’t give anything!

Your numbers are pretty astonishing. I would never attend a wedding and purposly not give a card/gift. Even when I have forgot we stoped to pick one up on the way.

Post # 26
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@globalmargaret:  Well I think expecting 39 gifts would be too much assuming most of those guests were couples who don’t gift individually.  So let’s say that out of ~20 couples you’ve received 7 gifts/cards.  Yes it is a bit low, some people who traveled may not gift, some people may have considered their shower gift enough, but other people will buy something off your registry and have it shipped to you or will drop a card in the mail after the fact, I even received a gift a few months after my wedding.  It happens. 

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