Post # 16
lovecarrie86: EXACTLY! The words my Fiance used were so simple, but unique, and I am completely in love with that part. Will remember it for a lifetime. AND, I get to see him look into my eyes and take the vows, so I look forward to that! The proposal is only the beginning 😉
Post # 17
maybemrs: I might be able to shed a light that might help. I love my SO so much and get so incredibly excited when I have something special planned for him, that I find it hard to contain myself. Multiple times I’ve let a surprise slip through because I can’t seem to keep a secret from him. It’s because I’m so excited that I just end up mentioning it to him. I know he’d prefer that I keep things a surprise sometimes, and I’m working on it. 😉
I think that the important thing is that your SO has taken the time and consideration to buy you a ring that you will love and to plan a special evening to ask you if you would like to spend the rest of your lives together. That is incredibly romantic.
He might be nervous or overly excited and perhaps making it seem like a normal Saturday night is helping him release some of that energy. Asking someone to marry you is a big step and I’m sure many men get a flurry of excited nerves beforehand, even if they know that their partner will say yes. But the most important thing is the intention behind that decision and the fact that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with the person you love. Any other stuff is just extra.
If you want to stop him from talking about it, maybe you can say something like, “Sweetie, I know you’re very excited about this weekend and I am too, but I’d prefer if we could keep the rest of the details a surprise. I can’t wait to experience Saturday with you.”
P.S. I’m not engaged yet, but I don’t think it’s uncommon for the proposal not to be a complete surprise, especially if the couple went to look at rings together and knew when the ring was bought. And, like other posters have said, you don’t know all the details so those will still be a surprise. 🙂
Post # 18
Maybe you should have communicated to him that you wanted everything to be a surprise?
Anyway, I think you’re really selling this short. You know you are getting a ring you love. You know you are getting married. Believe me, the day you get engaged will not be the only amazing day of your life that you will have with your future husband. Just enjoy it.
I wasn’t with Fiance when he got my ring, but I knew what the style would be. He asked because he wanted me to get something I wanted.
Post # 19
You knew the proposal was coming, you went ring shopping, you chose a diamond together… Sorry, this was never going to be a surprise. I can usually empathize with bees who are disappointed with their ring or proposal, but this just seems silly. Congrats on your engagement.
Post # 20
I like surprises so I definitely would not have wanted to go ring shopping with him. We hadn’t even talked about it or anything and he proposed. I like it that way MUCH better.
Post # 21
girlseeksring: I never expected it to be a huge surprise, I just thought the small details of exactly when/where would be at least a little bit of a surprise. I’m not disappointed per-say, I just feel weird/awkward about it.
Post # 22
maybemrs: my Darling Husband put my ring on layaway, so for a long time, I didn’t know. Then the day he picked it up, (he’s bad at secrets), he said his credit line had gone up at the jeweler. So I knew he had it. He proposed that night while I was in my PJs so sweetly and so cutely hahah. It was still special even though I knew he was going to do it within a few days (I know he can’t hold onto something like that)
Post # 23
maybemrs: I pretty much knew exactly when my fiance was going to propose — and while I hadn’t seen the ring, I had seen the diamond (hierloom) and the setting (he wanted to make sure I loved it before he bought it.)
Knowing — or having a really strong hunch that he was about to propose that day — didn’t make it any less special. Also, it’s just another step in a life together. A big one, to be sure, but there are lots of other special moments that will happen when you least expect them!
Post # 24
i see my bf in 2 days in mtl. i know he may propose, i sorta know what the ring looks like and how big the center stone is..
so i got my nails done! I can’t wait to see my angel and spend time with him! Dont worry about surprises, its good you know so you can have your nails look all nice and dress all fancy. I dont know which day or how he will propose, but i strongly guess he will some day on the trip. just be excited!! some girls dont even know if they will ever get a proposal, you do!
Post # 25
I wouldn’t personally care at all. I already know which ring I’m getting and I’ll know when it’s coming as well and I know the proposal will be soon after since I know he won’t be able to wait long after getting it.
We already have been planning aspects of the wedding so there’s not much mystery left for us.
I know even if I knew the exact day, place, and time…I would still feel excited the day of and overjoyed in the moment because I’m excited to marry my partner. It wouldn’t feel awkward or weird to me. I already refer to him as fiancé because there’s really no poi not to with the ring on it’s way.
I think you’ll still enjoy the moment. If you think of it negatively though then you will just stress yourself until the day comes.
Post # 26
It’s exciting that he’s still trying to make it a special night for you. He’s so excited. It’s all part of your story.
Before we got engaged my husband and I talked about getting engaged a lot so I knew it was coming even though we didn’t go ring shopping together. He picked the ring out himself and the day it arrived, he was so excited that he couldn’t wait and woke me up from a nap so he could propose. Not what I pictured at all but it kind of fits his personality and it was still a special moment.
Post # 27
maybemrs: I knew exactly when. My husband is the worst secret keeper ever. I knew he had the ring, I knew he was taking me away for the weekend. Honestly… it’s just a funny story now. There was nothing overly romantic about my proposal (in fact, I got drunk beforehand, passed out for 3 hours and then we stumbled around a boardwalk around midnight ot try to find a place for him to propose!) but seriously – who cares? Some men are just not romantic and have a hard time with this stuff. Give him some slack if it doesn’t go your way – he bought the ring, he’s the one who has to ask – thats a TON of pressure.
There’s really no better way to say “I love you” than asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you – just remember that. It doesn’t need to be some insane proposal – he loves you, you love him, your marriage is way more important than any proposal (or wedding, for that matter).
Post # 28
maybemrs: Trust me, it’s better this way than what happened to me…
Our friends were asking him if he would propose on our anniversary. Our anniversary is new year’s and we were in Mexico a few weeks before, when our friends were asking my husband if he would be proposing that year. We were sharing his iPad on our trip and those friends iMessaged him — and I happened to be looking at the iPad when they did! Now, no one actually knew if he bought a ring or anything, other than his mom, who helped him hide the ring from me. So, these friends were also just suspecting. So after I saw that message, my husband spent the next 3 days convincing me that he didn’t want to get married AT ALL! Looking back, I now know he was pulling a Chandler Bing (“Chandler is not a fellow who is likely to take a wife…” -Joey, Friends). Then, however, it felt like I was so in love with this person who was telling me he didn’t want to marry me or start a family or anything, and that engagements are stupid. So I was obviously upset… Fast forward two weeks, to December 30th. I’m hanging out with my hubby’s best friend (who also became a close friend of mine) and he started saying things along the lines of “maybe you two should consider seeing other people… you two are so young… why would you want to get married? There are so many other fish in the sea… maybe you should explore other options….”
YES! My husband told his best friend to convince me that there was no proposal coming AT ALL… ever! At this point, I fully thought that on my anniversary, I would be broken up with instead of proposed to… SO UPSET.
So, new year’s eve rolls around and one of our friends just comes up to me and says “I know something you don’t know. Don’t be upset”. Okay… I get it, he’s not breaking up with me.
So, turns out: he ordered a limo to take us to a big New Year hotel party and he ended up proposing to me right as I got into the limo with all of our closest friends in the limo with us. Yes, it was SPECIAL, but I spent almost two weeks thinking that this person who I was so in love with was planning on leaving me, or at least didn’t ever plan on getting married! It was a huge surprise and amazing, but at the same time, it was really nerve-wracking for the few weeks before! You decide which is better! lol!
Fast forward 5 years… we are happily married and those few weeks are just a big funny joke that we look back at and laugh about 🙂
Post # 29
PPs have given you good advice and a different perspective on how to look at it. I think after this weekend, you’ll actually look back and laugh at how cute he was for sharing every little thing with you. And who knows, maybe there’s more to it than he’s told you!
Post # 30
maybemrs: Yes I have, my fiancé isnt good at keeping secrets from me either. Mine got basically very excited and nervous, he didn’t come right out and say it but left to many hints. Like he asked my mum about something (getting her opinion), saying that we are going to a particular place in bath and need to wear something nice, that he was keeping my present very close to him at all times and was small enough to fit in his jacket pocket..etc… I think he was getting very nervous about my answer and whether I liked the ring he got me.
It didnt make it any less special. He spent months going around loads of areas to ring shop and picked it out himself and did all the research to find a romantic place and get a picnic ready…etc… I know it was coming but he still surprised me with how it was done and the beautiful place he did it in:
Was beautiful. Just because you know doesn’t mean it won’t be fantastic.
P.s- my original ring turned out to be faulty and we’ve ended up having to get a new ring. But we made it together and that kind of made it even more special and loved it some ways more.