(Closed) I know offending somebody is unavoidable

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Is she a novice? She may be a hobbyist, but it sounds like she’s been photographing for a long time and she is very good. I could understand why your friend would be upset.

Post # 5
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

ugh, your friend brought it on herself though!

Post # 6
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Eh, I mean if she’s a hobby photographer she isn’t exactly a “professional.” I can see why she would take offense if she had a lot of experience, but not to the point to voice it (in my opinion.) If she knew how much she wanted to charge, she should have clearly stated it herself rather than leaving it up to you and your planner.

Post # 7
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

While novice probably isn’t the right word to describe someone who has some experience, I don’t think it’s offensive.  I would just tell her that the planner thought she was a beginner since she didn’t have set prices.  There’s no indication that she looked at her work and called her a novice, right?  That’s the only way I’d be upset, if I was the photographer.  Don’t worry about it too much 🙂

Post # 8
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re right.. offending at least one person during wedding planning is like waiting for that first ding in a new car. At least it’s out of the way now and still salvageable. I might call around and see what photographers are charging in the area. I would call as many as possible and just get pricing for their basic package and see what’s included. 

Post # 9
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

While I can understand why your friend was a little put off, I think it was really inappropriate for her to say something to you about it.  I mean really.  It wasn’t THAT offensive, and the gracious thing for her to do would have been to ignore it, since it obviously wasn’t meanto offend.  Yeesh.  She needs to chill.  You really didn’t do anything wrong.

Post # 10
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It wasn’t offensive, IMO. If she doesn’t get over it soon, I think she’s trouble.

Post # 11
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well, my first one should make you feel better: 

I lived over an hour away from where my wedding was held.  So I got into town and called the photographer’s number that I wanted.  His wife answered the phone, so I asked to speak to him.  Well, she asked me if I had seen the paper that day. (Uh, no) I had just gotten into town-his obituary was in the paper.  🙁  I felt terrible, and apologized profusely, as I had no idea. 

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