Post # 1
but I think I just experienced my first “offense”.
my photographer is a hobby photographer. it’s not her full time job. however, she is very very good, and has done many gigs. she’s a friend, but I insisted on paying her. when I asked her how much, she said “ask your planner how much they generally cost in this town.” so I asked, and my planner said: “as a novice, I believe her rates would be around______ to ______.”
I forwarded that email on to her. she got offended by the word “novice” and said something pretty snarky about the planner. I didn’t think she would take it so hard. she is really good, but being a photographer is not her full time job– I mean, she didn’t even know how much to charge!
I’m kicking myself so hard for not editing the email. but I was worried that she would wonder why the suggested price was so low, so I felt the need to include the whole conversation. looking back on it I should have edited. (oh, also: I told her that she could suggest a higher rate if she thought it wasn’t enough.)
well anyway, I’m just venting. I tried to explain to my friend why the planner said it. she’s pretty cool so I really hope she forgets about it soon. I mean, they will need to work together during the wedding day after all.
I feel so bad, but I also feel like I need to develop a thicker skin! this probably won’t be the first time, unfortunately :/
Post # 3
Is she a novice? She may be a hobbyist, but it sounds like she’s been photographing for a long time and she is very good. I could understand why your friend would be upset.
Post # 4
I know. like I said, I am totally kicking myself for not re-wording my planner’s email!
I’m trying to smooth things over by saying to my photographer that my planner used the wrong word. that what she meant is that the photographer doesn’t do it as her career. we’ll see if I can fix this.
no, she is not a novice. but she is not a professional either.
Post # 5
ugh, your friend brought it on herself though!
Post # 6
Eh, I mean if she’s a hobby photographer she isn’t exactly a “professional.” I can see why she would take offense if she had a lot of experience, but not to the point to voice it (in my opinion.) If she knew how much she wanted to charge, she should have clearly stated it herself rather than leaving it up to you and your planner.
Post # 7
While novice probably isn’t the right word to describe someone who has some experience, I don’t think it’s offensive. I would just tell her that the planner thought she was a beginner since she didn’t have set prices. There’s no indication that she looked at her work and called her a novice, right? That’s the only way I’d be upset, if I was the photographer. Don’t worry about it too much 🙂
Post # 8
You’re right.. offending at least one person during wedding planning is like waiting for that first ding in a new car. At least it’s out of the way now and still salvageable. I might call around and see what photographers are charging in the area. I would call as many as possible and just get pricing for their basic package and see what’s included.
Post # 9
While I can understand why your friend was a little put off, I think it was really inappropriate for her to say something to you about it. I mean really. It wasn’t THAT offensive, and the gracious thing for her to do would have been to ignore it, since it obviously wasn’t meanto offend. Yeesh. She needs to chill. You really didn’t do anything wrong.
Post # 10
It wasn’t offensive, IMO. If she doesn’t get over it soon, I think she’s trouble.
Post # 11
Well, my first one should make you feel better:
I lived over an hour away from where my wedding was held. So I got into town and called the photographer’s number that I wanted. His wife answered the phone, so I asked to speak to him. Well, she asked me if I had seen the paper that day. (Uh, no) I had just gotten into town-his obituary was in the paper. 🙁 I felt terrible, and apologized profusely, as I had no idea.