(Closed) I know this is selfish…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@jenilynevette:  Thats what I wanted to say, but didnt know how to word it.

Post # 33
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City Winery New York, NY

@MsGinkgo:  I totally understand why you are upset.  What if you tried to change your thinking, though. Instead of it being a nuisance before your wedding, rather it is a joy to share an anniversay month with your sister. Now, you have a joyful celebration together each year. 

Post # 34
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@MsGinkgo:  Sweetie, I get that you’re annoyed and you’re allowed to have your feelings. But where her money is concerned, your wedding does not trump her own wedding. Sorry.

Post # 35
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@jadlnc:  True, but it is OP is planning a wedding, and her sister has money stashed away for her own wedding….but then leans on OP for paying for Christmas gifts?  Ummmmmm NOT ok.

Post # 36
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MsGinkgo:  I see your point and my first reaction was that I would be frustrated too. Then I thought that maybe your sister is envious of you, since you have a nice wedding and she is just eloping (maybe she is not that fine with that!). So maybe she thought that she would like to attend your wedding as a married woman, you know, so she feels she has something. Just a thought! But yeah, the money issue is frustrating!

Post # 37
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with previous PPs who said your wedding shouldn’t interfere with hers. I’m in her shoes right now (I had no money for Christmas, I made a few homemade goodies and although my mother swore it was okay, I felt extremely bad and extremely cheap this past Christmas because my parents offered me and Fiance a few hundred worth of gifts). Now, it was wrong of her to ask you to cover for her gifts. However, when it comes to the wedding, I would probably do the same. Bridal parties are not a necessity, and they’re costly. I couldn’t afford to be in one, and if my sister would offer to pay for my things so I could be part of the wedding, I’d accept. All the while, I’d be struggling to save for my own wedding, and it would definitely be my priority. A weddingmoon in Vegas is probably all they can afford. If they really have it all saved up, but maybe there is some credit as well. 

As for changing the date to early spring, they’ll be engaged for over 2 years. She will be done with school. Sounds like a good timing to me. I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong and I don’t think she’s doing it to upset you. 

Post # 38
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

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@MrsEME:  She could have said “No, I can’t lend/give you any money.”

Post # 38
Member
6 posts
Newbee

Totally understand your frustrations. I wish I had some sage advice to give you but I all I can do is wish you well on YOUR wedding! 🙂

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