(Closed) I know this topic is a beaten horse

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would call this family member directly. It’s your wedding, not your FMIL’s, and she should have talked to you to begin with.

Post # 4
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree. Contact the family member yourself. 

However, if you are unsuccessful and this child (or others) come, take heart in knowing that children generally are able to behave themselves at a ceremony. I had over 30 kids at my wedding and didn’t hear a peep from them during the ceremony. 

(I don’t say this because I want you to give up your adults-only wedding. You are well within your rights to make and enforce that decision. I just don’t want you to focus on the nightmare scenario.)

Post # 5
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You need to have your Fiance tell his mom to stop answering questions about your wedding, and direct those people to talk to you.

Post # 6
3229 posts
Sugar bee

Contact the family member and be prepared to “be the bad girl.” It’s your wedding. If you don’t want to have kids there, there shouldn’t be any kids there. Make sure she understands. She might not come but too bad. Trust me, even the best behaved kids have their off days. You will not want a screaming child at your wedding.

Edit: Also, tell Future Mother-In-Law that if anyone has questions, ask you and not her.

Post # 7
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d contact her yourself, and wouldn’t be shy about throwing Future Mother-In-Law under the bus. “Sorry, but Future Mother-In-Law had her information wrong…” And have your fiance call Future Mother-In-Law and tell her she is not within her rights to invite people to your wedding who were not invited, even if they are the children of guests. That stuff needs to be stopped!

Post # 8
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yes. I had the same rule. I wasn’t worried about kids screaming during the ceremony. It just wasn’t the type of venue for children. It was a backyard wedding with a huge pool as the focal point. People would be getting really drunk….I just didn’t want any accidents to happen. Plus, it was a friend’s house…not ours so I didn’t feel comfortable with it.

I had two families throw a pissy fit about it. They ended up not coming. Whatever. Good Riddance!

I had a few that tried to RSVP their 3-4 kids. I had to call them and explain to them the situation. They were fine with it and said they would get a babysitter.

I had one couple who did bring a baby without me knowing, but I didn’t even realize the baby was there until after dinner. That baby was just so dang quite! Sneaky…sneaky. If they had asked me I probably would have made an exception since the baby was so little and had to be nursed.

In all fairness, I had forgotten to put that little detail on my invitations and went with word of mouth.

Post # 9
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah you should call her and say that your Future Mother-In-Law might have gotten confused and let her know your thoughts. You are right – there will be hurt feelings if some kids can go and others can’t.

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