(Closed) I know- ugh! MORE Plus 1

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

If your allowing your other friends and family to have a plus one for spouses, I feel like it’s only right that everyone be able to have that. I would be offended if other people got to bring their husband but I didn’t.

Post # 4
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ugh, I don’t understand this either.  Why can’t they all just come together as a group??  Why do they have to make such a big deal about it??  I know people say it is etiquette, but why would you want to go to a wedding that you don’t know the person getting married?  Well, I guess that happens a lot, you typically know one side of a couple to invite them.  I guess try to see it in reverse, which is what I have tried to do cuz we aren’t married yet.  Once you are married, you are one half of a unit, right? 

I would go ahead and just invite them without guests since you already told them and if they don’t come…that’s their choice.

Post # 7
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

You have to make one rule for everyone and stick to it. Ours is if you are living together, engaged or married you have a plus one if not tuff shit. You just have to be consistant. I know its hard with the cost of everything people dont get it they just think its only one more but its really one more for everyone… So thats where it gets hard. I would just talk to them and hope they are respectful and understanding enough to get it.

Post # 8
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My friend’s mom recently attended a wedding of a coworker where she did not receive a +1.  She went with the other ladies from the office and had a great time.  I think it just depends on the person, which is unfortunate.  Some people couldn’t care less, others get very offended.  It’ll be up to you to decide if these ladies are comfortable enough to attend without their SOs, and if you don’t give them a +1, are you okay with them not attending?  Will that make things awkward at work?

Post # 9
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Irs fine not to give the coworker a +1. Especially if you dont know their SO’s and since they will know eachother. Poeple can live without their SO’s for an evening. I would rather be invited alone to a coworkers wedding than not invited at all

Post # 11
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

The etiquettely correct thing to do is to invite all married, engaged (possibly living together) couples together.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know them, they still must be invited together. 

Post # 12
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@organizedbride11: When we realized we would need to cut some numbers, this was the first thing we did; made this kind of rule.  If you are engaged, living together, or have been together for a long time (over a year at the minimum) then you get a plus 1.  If you are casually dating you don’t. 

 

I personally don’t want to limit plus 1’s at all for my wedding, I just hate enforcing any kind of ‘you can’t’ rule.  I am hoping that we can figure out some other cuts so we don’t have to do this (like some old co-workers of FI’s that he hasn’t seen in years). 

Post # 13
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you don’t know their SO’s, why would you invite them? Do not pay for strangers to attend your wedding.

They should be able to cut the cord for one night to see their friend get married. They can attend as a group, so “not knowing anyone” isn’t a valid excuse either.

And In My Humble Opinion, if they really wanted to be there for you they wouldn’t try to guilt trip you into inviting people you don’t even know and can’t afford to host.

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