(Closed) I know we all wanna be engaged BUT…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think this kind of thing comes from not being happy for the friend, but from being sad it still isn’t you getting to post your ring. Sometimes it’s hard to get those feelings of happiness past the feelings of disappointment you still aren’t engaged. Also, the friend would be excited if the bride to be texted her, but not so much to you because you aren’t the one that just got engaged.

Post # 4
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have to admit that I have felt this way in my own head and I am the last person to be “that girl”. However, I know since the engagement talk started with my SO whenever someone else gets engaged its not that im not happy for them but im sad for myself too because i know how badly I want that too. So im not hating on that person and i am not unhappy or anything for them but after a while it gets harder and harder to keep that sadness and jealousy from spilling over. Im not saying its right but unless you have felt that feeling before its hard to explain. Even as a single girl it was hard at times because I wanted that so badly and was no where near it. I was never one to let it be known this was how i felt though so while I think its natrual to feel that way I also think its a good idea to not be so blatent about those feelings like your friend was. its just not a good look for anyone.

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I found this when I got engaged. Everyone knew before I did including when it was going down so its not like my friends didnt have time to at least put on a fake smile. None of my friends were even “waiting” though, so I admit I was real pissed when I called my best friend and she was just like “Ya we knew…ok great so…bye.” Needless to say I have barely spoke to her since the wedding…she decided to just stop calling me and get a new BFF who isnt in a relationship because she cant stand coming in second. Ever. She dragged this poor chick (who is really nice btw) around to really intimate gatherings at my place when she knew no one and does everything she can to keep us together, but her between us so we dont become friends and “leave her out”. Odd. Sorry to thread-jack OP, but I totally get it. I don’t get gushy over other gals engagements, I’m more like “Good! Congrats…and when r we drinking to celebrate this awsome news?” lol

 

Post # 6
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think sometimes its just human nature.   My best friend is in her firist relationship…ever (we’re almost 30) and already talking about marriage after only a few months.  We have another friend who has been in an on again, off again relationship for 6 years and is not yet engaged.  Both of us are terrified of getting engaged before her and the worry that she wont be happy for us.

And while I know I’ll be happy for my bestie if she gets engaged before me, I also know that part of me will be stressed as  I will start to wonder why it isn’t me.  And I also worry about coordination (since she’d be my MOH) and preferences.  So i think it’d be more stressful for me than disappointment or something like that.  (I’m aleady getting stressed thinking about it)

And definitely something I would not say to my other friends!

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