Post # 1
New bee here, and would love some support and advice. Its a little long, please bear with me, I’m all over the place right now.
I recently brokeup with my SO of 2 years and it was my decision. I love him more than anything and we had discussed marriage in the near future, but I had to do it. He would never put me first and we keep fighting over it. Sometimes I would catch him in a lie and I have told him before how honesty meas everything to me but he told me white lies are fine in his opinion. That pretty much broke any trust I had left for him. I find him very arrogant, judgemental and insensitive towards me which led to my decision.
The final straw was when we were out shopping and after two hours in a store getting work clothes for him, I told him I was going to pop into a store two shops away while he continue browsing and he could meet me there when he’s done.
Well he dint like that and drove home after he was done leaving me alone in Sephora with my apartment keys in the car. We live in a small town so there are no cabs to randomly grab, so I had to get an Uber back and get a lock out key from the apt complex. I din’t hear from him till the next day when he send me a text asking me if I wanted my key. So, I met him, took my keys back and told him it was over.
But it still hurts me so bad. I loved him so much. Should I have not broken up with him? I dunno what to do, I just keep crying. Should I call him?
Post # 2
Do not call him! In fact, delete his number.
All break-ups hurt, it doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision. Give yourself time. Love is no reason to let someone treat you poorly.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York
This guy is a complete dick! What kind of man drives off with his girlfriend’s keys and has no concern for her safety and how she’s going to get home? You definitely deserve better than that! You said he’s arrogant, insensitive, and judgemental. That’s not the kind of man that you want to spend your life with. The right guy for you will treat you well and make you feel taken care of (and you’ll treat him the same way!).
You should have no contact with him. Delete his number, and don’t call or text him! He’s never going to be the kind of partner you deserve. During this time, you should focus on yourself; try to get healthier, learn a new hobby, spend time with friends and family who make you feel good (or meet new people!), or grow in other ways. Break ups can be really painful! There’s a reason why there’s a million songs about breaking up, but just give it time and you’ll start feeling better and better. Dry those tears, girl! You’ll get through this and come out stronger!
Post # 4
Don’t call him! This breakup will hurt even though it sounds like it was definitely the right decision. That’s how it is when feelings are involved and it doesn’t mean you did the wrong thing. It’s time for you to take care of you, and healing will take some time.
Post # 5
winegirl88 : What in God’s name. Near miss sweetheart. Heart breaks are horrible, painful and lonely. But they are temporary. Please do not go back to the dick who would leave you stranded alone and without access to your home. You’re going to find the kind of love that loves you back. I promise.
Post # 6
What an asshole. Sorry you are hurting right now, but you will find someone a million times better.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
winegirl88 : When a person treats you badly, they carve out a place in your heart. By belittling, condescending, dismissing you, they wear away at the boundaries of the hole they create inside you. Then, they trick you into thinking if they leave,you’ll be empty without them. But it’s a lie.
When a person treats you well, they treat your heart like it is precious. They pour themselves into you with all they have, and you overflow with joy, tenderness, and confidence. When you are apart, you are still yourself, and the love they have given you sustains you until they come back.
This person bored a hole in you. And you were strong and wise to refuse to let him continue. Healing hurts and it is a process. Letting him come back would only cause the hurt to start all over.
Stay strong. Protect your heart for someone who will treat it like a treasure.
Post # 8
Don’t waste another thought or tear on this asshole. He didn’t deserve the years you gave him.
Post # 9
He’s a douche. Don’t you call him. Block him on all platforms. It’ll get better.
Post # 10
You did the right thing! Never talk to him again !
Post # 11
This guy sounds awful. He obviously didn’t care about your safety or wellbeing when he ditched you at the mall. I wouldn’t let a friend do that to me, much less a boyfriend. Please do yourself a favor and never ever get back together with him (or anyone who treats you this way).
Post # 12
He sounds awful. You did the right thing, he put you in a potentially dangerous situation.
I’ve been seeing this quote a lot and I think it’s something you need to hear: “It’s not the person we miss, it’s the routine”
A breakup is a huge change in anyone’s life and change is jarring. It’s weird to go to do something and realize that things have changed. This will happen in the event of a death, the end of a friendship, or when the Target near you moves to a new location.
Your feelings are normal, and you will heal and they will pass. Stay strong, you are better than being treated like garbage.
Post # 13
teamroro : this
OP not one thing you said about this guy leads me to believe that he is the right person for you (or anyone).
Post # 14
Oh, gawd no. Do not call this jackass. I’d suggest going into a Witness Protection Program so he can never find you again.
What you say is an excellent description of a narcissist.
Break ups can be excruciating, even more so with traumatic bonds, which yours may be. There is a book called The Betrayal Bond, by Dr Patrick Carnes. You may find it helpful. Based just on what you wrote about your ex in your first post, I’d be willing to wager that your bond with him falls far short of healthy. Expect that bond to be harder to break than a healthy one.
Your ex will never change. Going No Contact is how you will heal. It sounds trite, but time really does work magic. This will get better. One day, you will shudder to think you were ever involved with the likes of him.
When you feel the need to reach out to your ex, reach out to us instead.
Post # 15
he left you at the mall…without your keys. not because you guys had a fight or he had an emergency, just be to be douchecanoe.
its tempting to remember the positive aspects of your relationship but girl. have enough self respect to sit through the uncomfortable breakup feelings without reaching out to him. he couldn’t be fucked to walk two stores down to even give you your keys before ditching you without a ride home. get rid of his number or change his name in your phone. my ex was ‘DO NOT TEXT’ for months after we split.