I am so so sorry you are going through this, but like PPs have said, you are definitely doing the right thing. No one deserves to be treated like that, and especially not the kindest, sweetest girl on WB!
I was in a realationship with a guy who sounds exactly like what you described, and even though I know just breaking up with someone doesn’t even compare to how hard it must be to have to go through a divorce, I can sort of understand your feelings about the situation. Reading through all your posts–it was like reading about my relationship with that guy, except he made me miserable enough when we were dating that somehow or another when he brought up getting engaged and married, some very very small voice left inside my head said that I did not want to be treated like this for the rest of my life. Still, leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I am pretty sure I am still a little messed up today because of him. It was like he was a drug–somehow I knew that he was bad for me, yet I continued with him for so long. He turned everything I ever got mad about into my fault, and eventually I started to believe him. Even after breaking things off with him, I still felt like maybe if I would have just been more flexible we would still be together and happy. One of the weirdest things is that I still miss him, to this day: a guy who treated me like absolute crap and made me feel worthless most of the time, and I still miss him. Yuck.
Anyways, after a few years, I actually don’t regret my time with him. If anything he left me with, it was knowing exactly how I did not want to be treated in a relationship, so I was a lot more cautious after that. Also, had I not been treated like crap for a few years, I don’t think I would have been able to appreciate how well my husband treats me now as much. So my hope for you is that one day you can experience the same thing–I am glad you are pretty young and you have plenty of time to now live for you, get a great education, and one day I am sure you will find a guy who will treat you better than you could have ever imagined. Hang in there sweet girl, one day it won’t hurt as much. If you ever need to talk you can always PM me!
I don’t know if you are a music fan or what kind of music, but (don’t judge me for this! LOL!) when I went through my nasty break up with the manipulative man from hell, I swear Taylor Swift’s Fearless album helped me to get through it. People give her a lot of grief, but the lyrics in a lot of her songs are actually pretty perfect for helping to cope. I don’t know, music always helps me to feel better so just a suggestion. I actually bought the album, and this was on the inside, and that night reading it, it literally turned my life around. I would listen to the songs on that album while lying on the floor sobbing like a baby, but they still helped me to realize that I deserved better than him, no matter how addicted to him I thought I was. Hope this quote helps you as much as it helped me (most of it anyways).
I’ll be thinking about you!
ETA: Especially the songs You’re Not Sorry and Breathe by T Swift. Therapeutic, I swear.