(Closed) I left out FMIL – should I fix it?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t think it’s that big of a deal- technically, the hostess is the one that dictates the number of guests she can attend to.  Perhaps next time mention you missed her at it, but understood she was away?

Who knows, maybe she looked pained bc she just realized she needs to throw you one too.  😉 

Post # 4
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

Were you the one in charge of inviting, or was your MOH? Generally, the bride isn’t really in charge of invitations, so it wouldn’t exactly be completely your fault if she wasn’t invited. I would talk to her and explain your thinking and apologize if she’s offended.

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

if it was me, i would just shoot her a nice card and say you have been thinking of her and the bridal shower and you realize she didtnt get an invite and how you hope it hasnt upset her and list some of the reasons. say you are so happy to soon be her DIL blah blah blah and you hope that she isnt upset with the invitation indiscretion

basically grovel a bit – you havent done too much wrong but i can understand she has felt left out so to be upfront about it will be a nice way to bury it so no hard feelings in future


Post # 6
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m with Eloping – write a note and grovel a bit.  You never know how long she might hold on to feeling insulted (even if it wasnt your fault!) and its soo not worth it.

Post # 7
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m with eloping too! Better to do damage control for damage that wasn’t your fault than to let it fester.

Post # 8
1103 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, grovel away although understand she might feel hurt for a while. I get that, because I would probably feel the same. You had good reasons for not including her but she doesn’t know that – you took the choice to attend away from her by not inviting her and that could sting a bit. I’m sure she’ll get over it, as long as she’s invited to lots of other things and you explain your reasons 🙂

Post # 9
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think I would send some type of appreciation/thank you card for her support and help and then maybe add that you didn’t want to inconvenience her because of the trip?  Or call her and tell her this?  Don’t know what kind of relationship you have with her, but hopefully she understands that you had good intentions.   

Post # 10
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think a nice, heartfelt card would be great, but you might also say that you would love to carve some time out to spend just with her.  It sounds like you aren’t in the same city, so perhaps in the week leading up to the wedding you and she can have some “girl time” together.  I think she would appreciate that.

Post # 11
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

If you live near her, you might want to invite her to a special lunch with just the two of you. I am sure that would more than make up for it.

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