I left: the end to that horrid saga and some reflection

posted 6 months ago in Waiting
Post # 76
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

100% come with 2 friends to move your stuff while you talk with him on the porch or in front of the house. I would not sit with the guy in a coffee shop let alone a meal in a restaurant. ” Closure talk” my #$%. He is either going to try and talk you around or give you heck. You stay in sight of your friends or out on the street so you can hop in your car and leave if things get stupid or nasty. Do not give him your address. He can forward your mail to a P.O. box. No picking up mail from his place. Tell your friends not to forward any of your info either. Short and sweet and get out.

Post # 77
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

phillygirl93 :  What happened? Did you meet up with him,  get your furniture back?

Post # 78
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee

Turn up with two friends and instruct them which is your furniture. Then sit out side in the yard or nearby park or wherever, listen to him talk, then leave. 

You have to 100% be over it to not be affected by this. I let my stupid ex have a “closure talk” and he brought a bag of my stuff, I turned up, ordered a double gin and tonic LOL, sat there listening while he talked and then he eventually cried, then I left and went Christmas shopping at a nearby mall. No harm done. But if I wasn’t 100% over it and totally sick of his BS then it would have been hard. 

Good luck!

xo 

Post # 79
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

My closure talk with my ex ended up with me kidnapped until I could escape. Don’t go alone. The “be a good girl” and get “rewarded” reminds me a lot of my ex’s mentality, he also felt that I was his property though. 8 years later he still Sues me every couple years just to be vindictive. Now that you’ve hurt his ego and stood up for yourself you may find that he’s a worse monster than you ever knew. Im not saying he will do something abusive but my ex had never been physically abusive until I left so just be aware that it’s a possibility. Good luck. 

Post # 81
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

phillygirl93 :  I’m surprised he didn’t try to propose during the talk.  Instead just more of the same bs. Obviously you know you did the right thing by leaving.  But just goes to prove it was unlikely that he was going to be willing to marry you anytime soon, even if you stayed! What a tool! I hope more waiting women here (finally) realize they too are in dead end relationships and *do something about it* as you have, vs just lamenting….  Congrats to you!

Post # 83
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

You made the right decision! 

Post # 84
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

Well done. Enjoy your jerk free future!

Post # 85
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Sounds to me like the last visit was worth it to get your bedroom set back and to confirm that he was all talk. Some nerve he has. You should feel validated that you did right by yourself.

All of that “I’ll propose if you’re good” and “I was going to propose but you ruined it” behavior-policing makes my blood boil. I’m so pleased you ended it right then. You’re off to bigger and better things.

Post # 86
Member
1452 posts
Bumble bee

phillygirl93 :   Good for you bee!  Glad to see you got your stuff back. Good call bringing friends. Keep us all updated as you move forward! 

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