Post # 76
100% come with 2 friends to move your stuff while you talk with him on the porch or in front of the house. I would not sit with the guy in a coffee shop let alone a meal in a restaurant. ” Closure talk” my #$%. He is either going to try and talk you around or give you heck. You stay in sight of your friends or out on the street so you can hop in your car and leave if things get stupid or nasty. Do not give him your address. He can forward your mail to a P.O. box. No picking up mail from his place. Tell your friends not to forward any of your info either. Short and sweet and get out.
Post # 77
What happened? Did you meet up with him, get your furniture back?
Post # 78
Turn up with two friends and instruct them which is your furniture. Then sit out side in the yard or nearby park or wherever, listen to him talk, then leave.
You have to 100% be over it to not be affected by this. I let my stupid ex have a “closure talk” and he brought a bag of my stuff, I turned up, ordered a double gin and tonic LOL, sat there listening while he talked and then he eventually cried, then I left and went Christmas shopping at a nearby mall. No harm done. But if I wasn’t 100% over it and totally sick of his BS then it would have been hard.
Post # 79
My closure talk with my ex ended up with me kidnapped until I could escape. Don’t go alone. The “be a good girl” and get “rewarded” reminds me a lot of my ex’s mentality, he also felt that I was his property though. 8 years later he still Sues me every couple years just to be vindictive. Now that you’ve hurt his ego and stood up for yourself you may find that he’s a worse monster than you ever knew. Im not saying he will do something abusive but my ex had never been physically abusive until I left so just be aware that it’s a possibility. Good luck.
Post # 80
I went to my old apartment with two friends and a moving truck. I ended up striking a deal with ex that I would get my bedroom set out first than we could chat (with the friends in the room, he looked a bit hurt that I didn’t just implicitly trust him, eyeroll…). The chat didn’t yield a lot other than the old tired “you gave up on me” (yes this is objectively true), “we could still make it work” (no) and an attempted “my niece misses you” guilt trip (no the fuck she doesn’t). So basically the closure talk was him being a sad sack. But I am pleasantly surprised he let my friends and I load the bedroom set into the moving truck first. One human decency point for him! I do wonder what he thought that sad sack closure talk would do other than make me roll my eyes.
I have my bed back! And I’ve officially been able to block the asshole since his leverage over me is gone.
long story short: I have my furniture back and that “closure talk” was a waste of an hour of my time.
Post # 81
I’m surprised he didn’t try to propose during the talk. Instead just more of the same bs. Obviously you know you did the right thing by leaving. But just goes to prove it was unlikely that he was going to be willing to marry you anytime soon, even if you stayed! What a tool! I hope more waiting women here (finally) realize they too are in dead end relationships and *do something about it* as you have, vs just lamenting…. Congrats to you!
Post # 82
I’m almost offended he didn’t desperation propose haha. All I’m worth is some cliche post break up phrases. Dang. (I’m fine with how it went btw, I’m just kidding around..)
Post # 83
You made the right decision!
Post # 84
Well done. Enjoy your jerk free future!
Post # 85
Sounds to me like the last visit was worth it to get your bedroom set back and to confirm that he was all talk. Some nerve he has. You should feel validated that you did right by yourself.
All of that “I’ll propose if you’re good” and “I was going to propose but you ruined it” behavior-policing makes my blood boil. I’m so pleased you ended it right then. You’re off to bigger and better things.
Post # 86
Good for you bee! Glad to see you got your stuff back. Good call bringing friends. Keep us all updated as you move forward!