(Closed) I literally hold my 6 week old all night, every night…

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 18
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@CoffeeBeanKate:  I second her ideas with interval times of lying him down in his crib. I have a 2 year old and we had some put down problems when it came to sleeping at night. Naps, no problem I’d lay her in the bassinet or crib and she’d pass out, night time, yeah no. She wanted to be rocked and feed and sung to all at the same time. Eventually we would do what CoffeeBean suggested. Lie her down, let her cry for a few minutes then go in there, pat her on her butt, whisper to her and then leave again. Listening to your darling baby cry, sucks, BIG TIME. But you have to break him of this for your and his own good. If listening to DD cry got to me too bad, i’d get into the shower and turn on the radio, or go outside and sit on the porch. He’s safe in his crib expecially at 6 weeks old, he’s not going to sit up and climb out. I truly feel for you and it’s hard and I’m so sorry you are going through this, it happens and you are doing the best you can with your perfect baby. ๐Ÿ™‚ Just remember, holding him constantly can, read can, not will, affect his milestone development. He needs tummy time to help strengthen his neck muscles for pulling his head up as well as learning to roll over. He needs to learn to soothe himself on his own, and mom, you need a break, and if you’re anything like me… snuggle time with your DH. ๐Ÿ™‚

Keep your chin up, it will get better! ๐Ÿ™‚ Hugs!

Post # 19
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@lolot:  +1 Also, I hear good things about the Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit. 

Post # 21
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@BearyLovely:  I’ve found incredible (practical) advice at troublesometots.com. She also has a G+ community where you can ask questions, and the ladies on there are incredible at giving advice. It’s a community made up entirely of Mamas of bad sleepers, haha, so they’ve run the gammut, so to speak. Alexis (the woman who runs troublesome tots) also weighs in quite a bit with advice on the G+ community. I highly recommend her site, and the community if you want to ask questions.

Post # 22
Member
6430 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@BearyLovely:  I am in the same boat with my 8 week old. She has to be held at all times, and is usually only happy when attatched to my boobs. We are basically forced to bedshare. At least I get to lay down. The only time I can put her in her swing is if she’s already in a deep sleep, and it usually only lasts about an hour. She hates being swaddled and won’t take a pacifier. I think some babies are just more needy than others.

Post # 23
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@BearyLovely:  Oh! And as for getting a “break” during the day, I’d try a swing (swaddle baby before putting him in the swing–but still buckle), but if that doesn’t work, maybe try a baby carrier? A Moby wrap or something? So at least you can have your hands free? That’s what we had to do for a couple of months.

Post # 24
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@BearyLovely:  What about transitioning him slowly to a cosleeper next to your bed? You could easily put your hands on him at first, so he can feel you. He’ll be really close by to hear your breathing and smell you!

Post # 25
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@kenziemt Agreed, @BearyLovely: have you tried this? Transition from complete holding, to just having him in the crook of your arm, to just a hand on his chest etc.

Post # 26
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

Have you gotten him checked out by a doctor just to rule out anything that could be bothering him at night when he is put down? If so, I would definitely say that, as hard as it is, you just have to realize that he may scream and cry at first, but things will get better if you start to wean him off of being held 24/7. If you don’t start to try and make a change in his behavior now things will only get worse. I’m sure you feel exhausted now after only six weeks, but trust me, it will get a lot worse if you are doing this for months and it’s with a heavy baby. I’m not a mother, but I nanny, and for me it’s terrible to listen to the babies I watch cry themselves to sleep, so I can only imagine how a mother feels, but sometimes that’s all you can do. A well rested mom is a better mom than an exhausted one! 

ETA: I obviously wouldn’t suggest 100% using the CIO at six weeks, but I definitely think he can handle it in small doses even if you are just starting during the day. If you have to go to the bathroom, get something done around the house, etc. try putting him down for five minutes.

Post # 27
Member
774 posts
Busy bee

@BearyLovely:  why don’t you try cosleepng so at least you are getting to sleep in a bed at night? my daughter slept in bed with me until she was around 9 months old, it was the only way we would both get any sleep! 

Post # 28
Member
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@BearyLovely:  A bedtime routine is very important. It can change slightly as your baby ages, but from the very beginning we’ve been consistent about bath (usually just water–soap on W and Sat), getting dressed (and when she was little, swaddling), nursing, story, prayers, and then into the bassinet (later pack n’ play and now crib). Now dinner and playtime in her room come before the bath. We do the story before naptime and until probably 6 months, nursing before that. She just turned one and is such a good sleeper. I can’t say it’s because of all the things we’ve done to encourage sleep, but certainly we’ve reinforced her good sleeping patterns. Some babies are going to be difficult sleepers but you can overcome it. I cannot even imagine how hard this must be for you.

When I was pregnant, I read the Happiest Baby on the Block sleep stuff and that really shaped our beliefs about sleep and our expectations. You may want to get it. I just checked it out at the library and it took about 3 evenings to read.

You may want to try different brands of pacifiers, but that could just be a waste of money since he doesn’t often take them… I just wonder if he might take a different brand.

As you try to brige the gap from only sleeping in your arms to putting himself to sleep in his crib or other sleep place, you can try to wait until he’s completely asleep in deep sleep and then put him down. Any animal including a human baby is super unlikely to wake during that time. The problem is catching that moment.

Post # 29
Member
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BearyLovely:  So if he’ll sleep laying on your chest can’t you just co-sleep with him like that?  (You laying down on your back, him laying on your chest.)  Not the best way to sleep, but a heck of a lot better than sitting up.

Post # 30
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I just want to say that I’ve been there. When my baby was that age, he would scream no matter where I tried to lay him down – the crib, bassinet, etc. I couldn’t let him scream, is I would immediately pick him up and hold him the entire time he would sleep. I held him constantly! I slept in the nursery with him propped up on the extra bed with him in my arms. I did this every day until he was 2 months old.

then, when he turned two months old, I had the worst stomach pain of my life. It started in the middle of the night and lasted for hours! I had no idea what was wrong, but knew I couldn’t handle that much pain. So I went to the emergency room. After performing an ultrasound, they discovered I had a gall stone stuck in my bile duct which was causing severe pain and pancreatitis. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days while they performed 2 surgeries on me. What do you think happened to my baby when momma couldn’t hold him all night long? Well, it turned out to be the best thing for his sleep.

his dad had to take over all the baby duties for the 3 days I was in the hospital, so that meant my baby was sleeping in the bassinet. If I put him in there, he would scream. But having my husband rock him to sleep and then lay him in there was okay to him. He started sleeping in his bassinet from then on! All it took was someone else putting him to sleep and attending to his needs. I think he knew that he didn’t have to sleep in the bassinet when I was nearby, but with daddy he had no choice!

i would try letting your husband put the baby to sleep if I were you. It might take several attempts, but it would be worth it for you to get a break.

Post # 31
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We had this same issue!  We were able to get him to sleep in his little chair bouncer thingy finally.  When he hit 7 weeks old, we got a Woombie and he slept in his bassinet without crying!  He still needed to be nursed or rocked to sleep, but he would stay asleep luckily! This is a super tough age, but you will get through ti!

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