(Closed) I looked through his phone

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

What is the nature of his texts?  Is there anything to suggest he might be cheating?  If there is nothing “amiss”, I would ignore it..

Post # 4
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

He carries on close friendships with other women and even an ex, but won’t allow you to call your guy friends? That sounds a little off….

Post # 5
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You should not be going through his phone. Period. That is a violation of privacy. If you don’t trust him then you shouldn’t be with him…end of story.

You deserve to be with someone whose phone you don’t constantly feel the need to go through. It’s not fair to either of you.

Post # 6
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If he’s making suggestive comments, even if he is not acting on them, that would bug the shit out of me. To me it’s kind of a perversion when a man has to constantly make sexual innuendos to different women. Is that what you mean by “weird” comments?

What are some of his texts like?

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Rut row, the two of you definately need to talk and get on the same page about this.

Post # 8
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While I agree with your Fiance that men and women can be plutonic friends, there is definitely a line that should not be crossed. If I’m calling or texting my male friends, there is a definite purpose to the conversation (“hey, where are you?”, “can I borrow your book?”, etc.). What your Fiance is doing is sketchy and the fact that he doesn’t see that is very immature. 

ETA: I agree with PPs that you shouldn’t be going through his phone. There are other methods.

Post # 10
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

None of this would be acceptable to me.  Especially since he’s being very hypocritical in not allowing you to do the same. 

Also, I would advise for your own sanity not to snoop through his phone any more.  If you don’t/can’t trust him, you may want to rethink the relationship.

“but I think if I can’t be talking to my guys friends he should not be talking to his girl friends…”

Exactly.

Post # 11
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

“I am paranoid he will cheat on me”

I went through the same emotions when I was with my ex-fiance. He ended up cheating. Trust your gut….if you feel something is off then it probably is. Hang in there!

Post # 12
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Sunfire:  agree 100%

Post # 13
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry but I see several red flags about his behavior and double standard. Is this something you want to live with for the rest of your life?

Post # 14
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Bottom line, a PP was right when she said you deserve to be with someone who’s phone you don’t feel the constant need to check. It’s a huge red flag that you are so paranoid that he’ll cheat. Also, what I said above, it’s a huge red flag that he controls your friendships with other men but is potentially crossing a line with his female friends and an ex girlfriend. 

Post # 15
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Why did you go through his phone? Did you have an uneasy feeling? Did something set you off? 

@bride2befl21340:  I also think it’s weird that he is “allowed” to do these things but does not feel comfortable with you doing them as well. Seems like a double-standard.

Idk, In My Humble Opinion if my Fiance is every texting with another girl he generally tends to bring it up and casually tell me, not keep me out of the loop. If I found out he was consistently texting with another girl and didn’t tell me I would feel really uneasy about it, especially since it’s not like him to keep that from me.

 You shouldn’t feel the need to have to go through his phone, he’s your Fiance. You should feel safe and secure and not feel like you should have to go through his phone. Other than this, is there things he does that make you feel otherwise? I would talk to him, I know it won’t be an easy conversation but like I said, you are getting married to the guy and you should be able to talk about any concerns you may have. Again, this is all just my opinion.

Post # 16
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My thoughts are- If he doesn’t trust you to spend time one on one with men, its because he thinks something sexual is always underneath male/female interactions. So that is a big red flag to me that he then continues to have private  conversations with women. Its kind of like how people who are cheating are often quick to accuse other people of cheating, because its already on their mind. 

The topic ‘I looked through his phone’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors