Post # 1
ths probably isnt gonna make much sense as im still in shock and bawling as i write this. i just have to get it out. im scared to talk about it but it happened. my worst fear came true. yesterday we were suppose to see our little baby for the first time, at 9 weeks at a routine visit.. as soon as the ultrasound started, i new something was wrong, the lady got very quiet and just kept looking arond on teh screen. then i asked her if evverything was ok and she siad the baby was measuring small. i knew what that meant and asked her how small. baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and my fetal pole ( i dunno if thats correct, my head hurts) stopped at 6 weeks. no heartbeat found…. my baby died 2 weeks ago, inside me and i had no idea. how does taht happen?? how did i not know? i was 9 weeks nad feeling good, i wsa suppose to soon be in the 2nd trismester. we had plans and names and hopes. im lost. it was suppose to be such a great day yesterday and it turend out to be the worst.
im mad at my body for betraying me- why couldnt it give me a sign that i lost my baby. i had no cramps, spotting bleeding or anything that would single anything was wrong. i was still getting morning sickness, throwing up, heart burn all this week…… i just dont understnad it al. it wouldnt of been so bad if i had a heads up but i expected to see our baby and now nothing. i have to go and get a ultrasound on monday ( this bothers me, every ultrasound i have had now has shown me what i lost, nad i have to see my dead baby on monday) and then get a d and c (im scared, i have no idea what to expect) as im not miscarrying on my own and probably wont. i just want to get hte procedure over with.
me adn my hubby are heartbroken, crying and a mess. he s been an amazng support. we just lay here holding each other in shock and cry… but ive never experienced a pain this harsh and real. I cant sleep its all i think about. i woke up and jjust stared bawling ths mornng as soon as i opened my eyes. all oru plans our child is gone.. i just want my baby back. i wont get to meet it or hold it. or know if it wa aboy or girl. i have a child but no nothing about him or her.
We love this baby so mcuh. the pain jhurts so bad. we miss our baby (which i know sounds weird but its so true) we both felt so cloe to it and now our baby is gone. why? why, i read that a missed misscarriae happen to 1% of people. how dd we end up on those odds?
how do i deal with this? the pain is unbearable right now. how do i move forward? please anyone whos been there please give me advice bc i dont know waht to do…. i feel so broken and empty. We just feel so cheated, and hurt and sad and mad. i feel so man emotions at once. i just kept thinking of how things wer suppose to go yesterday and then how they really went and im in shock. i just need some support right now, im lost sorry if this sounds harsh or something im just so upset an broken
Post # 3
- Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA
I’m soooo sorry. I can only imagine how heartbroken you are. I know it’s not much, but I’m sending you hugs.
Post # 4
I can’t afford you any advice, I’m really sorry, it isn’t something I have been through but I just want to send you all the love that I have in your worst time and I hope that you and your husband can get through this with each other’s love and support. I am so sorry for your very sad loss.
Post # 5
I am sooooo sorry! ((HUGS))
Post # 6
I am so sorry you guys are going through this. I know there aren’t any words to express what you are going through. We are all here for support if you ever need. I have not experienced this, but I am here to talk if you need to. I am so so so very sorry. Many prayers and hugs going your way. 🙁
Post # 7
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Post # 8
I am so sorry for your loss.
Losing a baby is one of the most emotionally painful things to deal with. Not only is it supposed to be such an exciting time that suddenly turns to grief–you are also filled with extra hormones that turn on you making it even more painful.
As someone who has been there, all I can say is let yourself grieve. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to cry.
Sometimes I would even drive somewhere quiet so I could cry alone.
It sounds like your hubby is being wonderful, please continue to find strength in him, too.
My condelences to you and your hubby.
ETA: As you’ll see on many of the other miscarriage threads on here, someone has to make up the bad numbers, unfortunately. The only things you can do now are grieve, and when you are ready try again. Try not to stress out about your first loss. You will never forget this baby.
I found this on the bee at it helped me:
Buddhist’s believe that miscarried and stillborn babies are already fully enlightened souls who just need to touch the earth and be loved and wanted for a brief moment before they can reach Nirvana.
Post # 9
I am so sorry and it’s not strange that you would feel so much loss and pain. I’m not sure if this will make you feel better but 10-20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and it usually happens because of chromosomal abnormalities that would make it impossible for the baby to survive.
It’s terrible but it happens to a lot of women and you could not have done anything to prevent it. As awful as you feel right now, it’s not only normal, you need to grieve. And eventually you will have a baby to love one day.
Post # 10
i am crying for you after reading this. I am so very very sorry for you and your DH. That is devastating and I’m just so truly sorry for your loss:(
Post # 11
I am so sorry for your loss. I dont have any advice that I can give, but I can say that I cant imagine what you are going through!! I again am so sorry!! Some things just are so unfair! It sounds like you have a great support system though, and that is awesome because thats what your really going to need!! *HUGS*
Post # 12
I’m so very sorry for your loss. This can be a very difficult and confusing time.
I have had 2 miscarriages, one at 10 weeks, and I fully understand what you are going through. I went in for an unltrasound as well and found out at that time. My body also did not start to go through the miscarriage and I had a D&C. I had to wait 6 days and for those six days (and a few days after) I stayed in bed crying. The second time my body did go through the miscarriage process on it’s own. For what it’s worth the D&C procedure was mentally easier.
If you have any questions or just need to talk to someone about what you’re going through, before or after the procedure, feel free to PM me.
Post # 13
You poor, poor thing. How cruel and unfair. I hope you can find some comfort in all of the e-love coming your way. Take care x
Post # 14
I’m so so so so so sorry honey. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) My sister went through a miscarriage recently, she was about 10 weeks along. She said something to me that really stuck with me, “I’d rather have some tears now to get through this than a life time of tears ahead of me if there was something wrong with this baby and it was born unhealthy.” I thought that was very brave and honest of her. Sending lots of love your way sweetie.
Post # 15
First off I would like to say how sorry I am and how much it sucks. I had a miscarriage in March and I felt everything you have said. It took some time for me to grieve and it def. helps to have people around you supporting you or just there for you to cry to. I felt very much alone and empty, but as each day passed it got a little better. I don’t think we will ever feel 100% better because I believe they were our babies regardless of how small and what others believe. Please ignore all the stupid people out there who will say things like “oh god needed them more” or “good thing it happened early” and blah blah those people don’t help and I just felt like punching them. I did find a site called dailystrength.org that really helped me and there was a whole community of people going through the same thing as me. DH and I just started to TTC again and I feel ready for it, but I will never forget my baby that could have been. I hope this helped comfort you a little and if you need to PM me I will help in any way I can. I ended up bleeding pretty bad and had to have an emergency D&C so If you have any questions regarding that I will also answer any you have. I also want you to know and you may not believe it now but you did not do anything wrong to cause this so please do not blame yourself. Again I am so sorry.
Post # 16
I know that what people say is with their best intentions, but I agree in the beginning it did just make me angry.