(Closed) I lost my friend to her one and a half year old.

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

Um, I don’t have children, but my siblings do, so I know enough to know that is WEIRD.  I would definitely be angry and frustrated.  Total honesty?  By now I would have cut my losses.  Friends you have to force to be your friend aren’t friends at all. 

Post # 4
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow, I just don’t know what to say to that. It sounds like your friend turned into a wackjob when she had her kid. I heard mothers and their sons can get weird, but she is over the top. She is going to spoil the hell out of that kid and he will not grow up nicely, I’ve seen it before. I’m really sorry but I’m not sure that there’s anything you can do for this, this is her world now and apparently there’s not enough room for friends. What  does her husband think of this?

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ok that just sounds bizarre. But depending on what country she’s from, maybe these are normal childrearing practices there?  I’m trying to think of an explanation beyond “she has totally lost her mind.”

Post # 9
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is really strange. I wouldn’t know what to do either. TBO you don’t have much of a friendship anymore and it isn’t your fault. Maybe try backing off a little and see if she notices. I wish I could help but not having kids myself I don’t know what to tell you. That is definately not normal behavior though…

Post # 10
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

your friend sounds cray-cray, sorry. i’d just quit talking to her, she obviously doesn’t value your friendship enough to put any effort into doing anything but coddling her child.

Post # 11
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yea this just sounds like she cannot separate herself from her child, which is very unhealthy for them both. That just sucks because there’s no nice way to point that out to her. How is she going to send him off to preschool? elementary? Every time he cries she’s going to take him home? This is going to cause many problems down the road :

Post # 12
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t understand why  you’re wasting time with this person. I mean honestly,  you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve seen her in a year. I don’t know if I’d even call that a friendship. She seems to have a lot going on with her child, you’re not happy with the friendship, so let it go. Sometimes people change after having kids, maybe if there’s other issues she’s having a hard time relating to her kidless friends. I don’t know. Hope it works out for better or for worse.

Post # 14
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Not to be pessimistic, and it doesn’t sound likely since your friend has been strange about it from the start, but is it possible that her child has some sort of developmental problem?  I’m just trying to come up with a plausible reason for those parents’ behavior, because I can’t imagine anyone being like that with a healthy normal child.  Very odd.

Post # 15
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s not normal at all and if I were you I would feel really hurt and frustrated too.

Has her husband changed like she has since the birth of their child? You said she talks to her son in her native language? Where is she from? Maybe it’s a culture thing. Still very odd though.

I know alot of woman hit a really rough spot after giving birth so maybe there is a deeper issue as to why she’s being the way she is.

I don’t really know what you can do, I agree with what you said about a heart to heart not going well, my only suggestions would be either walk away or step back for a bit and see if she changes with time as her son gets older.

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