Post # 1
Hey Bees I just needed to vent about this!
I love my bf (soon to be FI!) but I’m not so keen on his last name. He however is very traditional about this, he wants me to take his last name when we get married. We’ve talked about the options and he doesn’t really want me to keep my name or use both. I saw something on here about some couples picking a new last name for both people I didn’t know that you could do that and thought maybe that would work but he liked his last name. I know he would do it if I really wanted but I don’t think I could do that to him. I just have to suck it up right ladies?
Post # 3
I don’t know why you would just have to suck it up. It’s your name, not his. If you want to change it or hyphenate it really doesn’t affect him. If he’s not really up for changing his name, why should you have to suck it up and have to change yours?
Post # 4
My fiance’s name is not great either, and definitely a downgrade from my own but I’m taking it without any second thought. It’s a tradition that is important to both of us so it’s just something I’ll have to get used to.
Is this tradition something you thought you’d honour previously? Like if his name was nicer, would you want to change your name?
Post # 5
Sorry but I’ve said before on here, getting him to change his name completely could cause amajor rift within his family.
Post # 6
It’s hard to get used to the idea. I started practicing my new signature and playing with my name in Microsoft Word, looking at it with different fonts. I like my maiden name better (didn’t have to spell it out) but I really wanted to have the same last name. I struggled a lot with the decision but I’m glad in the end that I took his name, mostly because we plan to have children together.
We’ve been married nearly a year and it still doesn’t flow off the tip of my tongue (or pen for that matter!) but I’ve got a lifetime to get used to it.
Post # 7
You don’t think you could make him change his name, but it’s ok for him to make you change yours.
Seriously – re-examine that last sentence. You have your own identity. Keep it if you don’t like his.
Post # 8
You have to live with that name for life, as do your kids, so it’s important you feel comfortable with it. How about a hyphenated name (or a new one as you said) just for you? I know a couple who made a new name. He was King and she was Horne so they made Kinghorn and both took it.
Post # 9
You really like your last name, too, I assume. Why does the fact that you he likes his name trump the fact that you like your name?
Post # 10
@Aure: I know it doesn’t really affect him but it is something that it very important to him and I know there are lots of things he would do for me.
@MrsSawyer: Yeah I always figured I would change my name when I got married and I probably wouldn’t mind so much if I liked his name better so I guess its kind of selfish of me.
@Irish-bride: Yeah I thought of that last night and I really wouldn’t want his family to get angry with me for asking him to.
Post # 11
Suck it up until he denies you the window seat on your flight to Vegas.
Then marry Adam Sander instead.
Post # 12
@LR2012: ha there should be a way to favourite posts on here!!! You just won yourself a favourite Misses!
Post # 13
I think it’s kind of close minded of him to say no to you using both of your last names…what does it really concern him if you choose to hyphenate or just add his on? I would say that you do what you are comfortable with. You obviously seem to want to make him happy, but don’t do that at the cost of your own happiness. Ultimately this is YOUR name…what people will identify YOU as, not him. And there are so many options. There must be something he would be okay with.
Options (If your name was Mid Western Charm and his last name was Smith):
Mid Western Charm (if you kept yours)
Mid Western Charm Smith (if you added his)
Mid Western Charm-Smith (if you hyphenated)
Mid Western Smith (if you dropped yours and just used his)
Mid Charm Smith (if you dropped your middle and moved your maiden name to the middle and his name would be your new last name)
Mid Smith Charm (his last name is now your middle)
Mid Western Chmith (if you combined your last names)
You could also ask that he take your last name as a middle name and you both share the same last name (his)
These are just some of the options out there. Don’t make yourself unhappy with this kind of decision. I personally feel like names carry a lot of weight.
Post # 14
@JustJen_wd: My last name is longer so it would be a pain to use both. If we made a new one it couldn’t really be a combo of both so it would have to be something totally new.
@Krises: It’s not that I really like my name or any thing I just like it better than his. I always looked forward to getting rid of my last name actually because it was used in a very popular movie so we hear jokes ALL the time. I guess it bothers me more cause I know he actually likes his name.
Post # 15
@LR2012: That’s so funny, because I thought of that movie too! You beat me to it.
Post # 16
@mg1363: I agree but it’s just something he has in his head. He says its up to me but I feel like if I don’t just take his name I will be hurting his feelings. I would take one as a middle name but my middle name is a family tradition so they won’t be happy at all if I changed it.