Post # 1
So one of my bridesmaids is a long time friend. We have known each other since I was in 2nd grade and she was in 1st (16 years). We were the best of friends until she moved a few years later. We have always kept in touch and have had one of those friendships where we could not talk or see each other for a few years but pick up like no time has past (she is my friend-soulmate as my mother says). So I asked her to be a bridesmaid and she was so excited. I never had a problem with her not returning my phone calls, texts or emails while I was picking out their dresses and she drove 2 1/2 hours to come order her dress without a problem but now I never hear from her. I have written to her on her facebook wall just checking in, emailed her about bridesmaid things, and even called her to ask her opinion on where i booked their hair appointments and asking if she wanted me to book her a makeup appointment as well (my treat) and still nothing! I would totally understand if she was taking summer classes or busy with work but it seems like she can respond to her other friends and her brother on facebook, even discussing visiting him in china next month. So why cant she call, im, text or facebook me back?? She hasnt even rsvp’d to my bridal shower and she got both an invite in the mail and on facebook.
I love her to death but Im hurt. Im not like “stalking” her facebook but its like I go on to email her or write her a message but then see that she has responded to many more people but has said nothing to me. Its really making me think that maybe she doesnt want to be in my wedding but feels bad about saying no. She’s already paid for her dress and they come in next month. I just dont know what to do. Even worse, My FI is having a similar problem with one of his groomsmen, but he hasnt even responded to my FI’s calls and texts about the tuxes.
Post # 3
we just had this prob with my FIS BESTman and hes out of the pic turns out hes dating the grooms recent ex….which is a BIIIG no no and he knew it thats a diff story…
i had two MOHs but both lived too far away and its difficult the one i ahve now same kind as your a bff soul mate type she has a kid and is busy with two jobs….shes really bad about responding to me. i would give her some time and then call her leave a voicemail if she doesnt answer
do u think maybe shes just tired of hearing about the wedding….
i know lots of brides including my self that have a problem with over talking about the wedding bells at times….have u tried talking to her about something other than the wedding or even ask her..
Post # 4
Haha I am guilty of excessive wedding talk with my other close friend (she is my support since my 2nd MOH decided to have a shot gun wedding due to a baby. long story short, it was suppose to be small, now its her big dream wedding and she keeps trying to steal my ideas) but the bff i talk to about all this loves to talk about it.
I often just write on her FB asking what she’s up to, how things are going and to just give me a call. She lives 2 1/2 hrs away and I told her that I was going to try and get down there in the next month and we should get together. yet still nothing. I think she has gotten maybe 3-4 emails and just a couple calls about wedding stuff since I asked her back in July.
Post # 5
I have to ask – how long has it been since you’ve heard from her? It’s possibly that she’s just really busy right now and it sounds like you’re asking her a lot of questions/input and she really just needs some time to think about everything. Other responses to people on Facebook may be no-brainers and don’t take much time, but she hasn’t had time to figure out if she wants her makeup done, or if the hair place is good, or whatnot. So that’s why I ask how long it’s been since she’s responded to you?
Also – when is the RSVP deadline for your shower? Not everyone RSVPs right away, and some people do the “Oh, I need to make sure I RSVP to this” and then they set it aside and forget about it. It’s possible that’s what happened.
It sounds like she’s been really good about the wedding stuff and maybe has just hit a really busy streak in her life. I wouldn’t freak out just yet! Give her some time (depending on how much time you’ve already given her).
I have a friend that’s really good at the on-again off-again friendships. I think she only has energy to focus on a couple friendships at a time, so sometimes I won’t hear from her for months, even though I’ll e-mail, Facebook her, or call her, and I can see she’s alive (via Facebook posts to other people). Just when I’m ready to give up on her, she’ll suddenly shift her focus to me and our friendship and I’ll hear from her a LOT all of a sudden. And then we’ll go through a dry spell again. Your friend might be like that. 😛
Post # 6
I think you (and your FI for his groomsman) should let your BM know that she’s not going to be a BM. Say that you understand that’s she’s busy, or you needed to put an order in for dresses or something and since you haven’t gotten ahold of her she won’t be able to be in the wedding. She’ll probably be relieved that she’s off the hook. If you still want her at your wedding, make sure to tell her that and focus on how nice it will be to see her and how much more fun she’ll have as a guest.
Post # 7
I have a question too. When contacting your Bm, are you always about wedding stuff? Are you ever calling etc. to just hang out or gab or see how her day is? I don’t think your’e a bad person, even if you find that it’s all been about the wedding. We get carried away. It happens.
But I think there’s a possibility of a number of things. 1. Same old standard… she’s jealous of your situation. If hse’s single, looking for a man, could be the case…. but maybe not… 2 Perhaps she is tired of thinking wedding all the time. It can be annoying if everything coming out of your friend’s mouth is about her wedding, nothing about you. 3. COuld be that she’s relly busy with something at work, or socially. You might be busy doing wedding stuff. And if she’s single, she might be doing more single stuff with single people, and therefore has more stuff going on w/ FB w/ other ppl. 4. Perhaps something she is concenred about is going on, and doesn’t want to tell you. (ie. money troubles) And is concened about things like shower, wedding gift, or travel expenses.
If you feel neglected, I’d try to reconnect. But see if you can just call her and ask, if she wants to go to such and such movie on Friday, or to that new Italian restaurant with the group. Maybe it’s on of those “patches” or maybe she’ll open up if there is something more.