I love my fiance, but I'm having some trouble with his hygiene.

posted 8 months ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Am I being too insensitive or am I being reasonable?
    Being too insensitive : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Being reasonable : (106 votes)
    98 %
  • Post # 33
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Putting the shaving thing aside, it is really concerning that you need to get his mom involved. It is concerning that you are afraid to live on your own. There’s nothing that you’ve said that makes me think this is a healthy situation that you should remain in. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    2126 posts
    Buzzing bee

    imperfectfiance :  I cringed my whole way through reading this post…

     

    bee, how long have you been tolerating this living situation? it’s game-over for the niceties here…next time you see him do that shit, you need to rudely call him out on it.

    “that’s fucking gross”

    “that’s really a huge turn-off”

    “I shouldn’t have to tell your grown ass to brush your teeth and wash your ass” 

    Post # 35
    Member
    5923 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If you work, how do you have no money? 

    Post # 38
    Member
    4686 posts
    Honey bee

    imperfectfiance :  He needs help…something. I would not be able to deal with this. HE expects YOU to be all sparkly clean?! What the hell is that? I’d be tempted to skip a few showers and stuff to show him how it is. But that’s hard if you work. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    10429 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    imperfectfiance : 

    When there is a significant drop of in personal hygiene, the possibility of mental illness needs to be considered.

    Ignored dental issues can lead to severe illness, including brain infection and cardiac trouble

    Terrible role modeling 

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    imperfectfiance :  He doesnt want to be treated like a child then he shouldn’t ACT like one!

    Post # 43
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    The more you update, the more I’m convinced that you need to leave him. You need to get out of this situation. Please try counseling for yourself to deal with some of your self-worth issues. You deserve better than this.

    Post # 45
    Member
    2855 posts
    Sugar bee

    You need to have a serious talk with him.  If you’re his only serious gf and his mom coddled him, he may not have let it sink in just how unusual and disgusting it is. I know you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but leaving him is going to be a lot more challenging than confronting him with this.

    Honestly you’re doing him a favour – as you can see from the rest of this thread, his behaviour is not normal and no one else is going to put up with it either. 

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