(Closed) I LOVE my fiancee, honestly I do, but…..

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Be frustrated and make the best of it, or just be glad?
    WOW! How do you handle it, that is so crazy? : (7 votes)
    5 %
    Could be worse, just plan....plan.... plan : (27 votes)
    21 %
    Be glad that he is wonderful in all other aspects, it will all work out, it always does. : (97 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    5148 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m the same way. My fiance has zero interest in planning the wedding and doing registries and stuff. He just cares about getting the peice of paper at the end that says we’re married. (Which is in reality that’s all that really matters about the day.) But he says he just wants to be told when to show up and what to wear.

    Post # 5
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Same here. All he cares about is when and what to wear. He’s so far helped look at some songs for the wedding and has a few funny ideas, which he thinks are great lol! The only thing I really care about is him maybe helping with the registry just because it is for us so I want to make sure he has things on the list he needs.

    Just for the record, I thought deliciousappleblue‘s response was kinda rude. She’s stressed and it’s great your Fiance is very involved but not her’s hence the post.

    Post # 6
    Member
    14481 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My Fiance has no interest in wedding planning or registries and stuff.  The only thing he cares about is cake tasting cause he just wants to eat the cake!!!  DRAGGING him to do a registry was painful, it only lasted an hour or so and we didn’t add anything cause it was just me deciding and him whining and wanting to leave after like 30 minutes.  I’ve only been able to stand going back with him twice and then gave up and just go myself. 

    Heck he doesnt even help out with picking stuff out for our new house.  Sigh.. fine, I just get whatever I want then and I tell him I dont want to hear a word about him not liking anything if hes not going to help pick it – even when I make it as easy as sending him a few links and picking out his favorite iten and can barely do that!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    First of all, welcome to WB.

    Sorry, you feel that way.  From what my Mother-In-Law said to me, ‘men are not usually involved in the wedding process.’ Yeah, let’s just say she wasn’t very nice when she said that to me. 

    My husband was involved in somethings but didn’t care about other things.  This can be overwhelming for a man because they usually don’t obsess over the details.  You should ask him what he does want, then you’ll know what is important to him.  My husband cared about the music, the tuxes, the food choices and the date.  He didn’t care what color the napkins were going to be, he didn’t care about the favors.

    You can always ask questions here, we are usually very supportive.  There are tons of us who are or went through the whole planning process, so feel free to ask.

    I actually planned  90% of my wedding on my own because my friends and family are located on the east coast.  Some of them didn’t want to be involved.

    Post # 8
    Member
    758 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    my Fiance hates all things wedding. He isn’t really helping much, only to give opinions but even then, his lack of enthusiasm makes me sad. I bounce ideas off my mom and sister. Do you have anyone that has recently planned a wedding that could help? I feel your pain and hope you don’t get too stressed out planning. 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    my hubby had zero interest as well, then we decided to elope, some guys are happy if you are happy

    if you really want him to be involved why dont you show him option A and B and ask his opinion – of course if he picks B when you want A then you will wish he didnt care 🙂

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I did everything myself!  😉

    Post # 11
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @kate9854: How is it rude to ask why a poll is a poll?  All the options are pretty much the same, and from the context of her post, it seems like she’s asking brides to compare their experiences – which there is no option for in the poll.  I’m genuinely confused. I think it’s rude to say someone else is rude for expressing their confusion, but whatever.

    Post # 13
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @ttn133: I guess it’s easier for me to delete my post than for anyone to just answer the question?  Whatever you want, ladies.  Didn’t realize polls were such a sensitive thing, sorry.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    The options in the poll all kind of read the same, so I could see why there is confusion. I totally get the point of the vent in the post, but it’s not really measuring anything, which, last I checked, was kind of the point of a poll. It’s really discouraging when threads turn into “Well, your reply was rude” and then people jump on a post. God forbid we make an OP uncomfortable, but it’s OK to gang up on replies in the thread just because they disagree or point out something that might not make sense.

    OP: I think this is a common thing, and a lot of brides complain that their FI’s just dont’ care about the details. But I have seen complaints where grooms and brides argue because they both really strong have an opinion about aspects of the wedding. It’s a stressful time for everyone, but it will be worth it when you’re finally married.

    Post # 15
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think the OP was just looking to see if anyone is in a similar situation bc she’s feeling kinda lonely right now. But I will agree with delicious that the poll is a little confusing.

    My Fiance will help up to a certain point–he really doesn’t care about most stuff, and I am worried about burning out my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor talking about wedding stuff. I have asked my Fiance to be supportive by just listening to me talk out my options and making comments so I know he’s listening, even if he doesn’t care too much.

    Post # 16
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Amaryllis: Thank you!  Geez, ladies, I know I’m not the nicest kitty in this pet store, but not everything I say is meant to cause trouble. 

    The topic ‘I LOVE my fiancee, honestly I do, but…..’ is closed to new replies.

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