(Closed) I LOVE my fiancee, honestly I do, but…..

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Be frustrated and make the best of it, or just be glad?
    WOW! How do you handle it, that is so crazy? : (7 votes)
    5 %
    Could be worse, just plan....plan.... plan : (27 votes)
    21 %
    Be glad that he is wonderful in all other aspects, it will all work out, it always does. : (97 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Yeah, I know how you feel. My Fiance doesn’t even care about what to wear. On the plus side, the closer we get to the wedding, the more he is perking up about it.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would say, please don’t take it personally. Planning a wedding is just not his thing. There are many things my fiance cares about deeply-such as basketball. I personally could care less about the sport, but to him this sport has taken on importance of monstrous proportions. I tolerate it because I love him, even if I don’t get it.  Not caring about the venue, or the menu, or the color of the bridesmaids dresses, does NOT mean your Fiance cares any less for you. All he knows, is that at the end of the wedding, he gets to have you for life-he doesn’t care about the details of how that happens. Keep him updated with the must know stuff and the highlights, and cut him some slack on the rest. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @deliciousappleblue: I haven’t tried to do anything, and I’m not the one bringing it up yet again. You said, “Why this is a poll? For the record, my fiance was very involved.” The OP is new to the site and may not know how everything works yet and it just sounded rude. It did not say that you were confused and I did not take it that way. For me, it sounded like ‘what is the point in this’.

    Sorry to the OP for straying the thread. I hope you get the answers you need.

    Post # 36
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Well all i have to say is “glad im not alone!”

    I have found myself pretty stressed out about my Fiance not caring about anything at all that has to do with the wedding. OR the fact he never has an opinion until i make a decision and he is against it! All my married friends said it was the same way with their husbands and i have been trying to suck back in my bottom lip and carry on planning alone! He has shown interest in music selection and – of course- the beer koozies we are doing as favors!

    You’re not alone! Wink

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    My Fiance has NO interest in wedding planning.  If I say I like something and ask him to look at it, he says “Yep, that looks good.”  He just doesn’t care one way or another – as long as I stay within the budget.   

    Of course, I’m glad he doesn’t care and doesn’t want to help.  I’m a serious type A and like things to go my way anyway, so it’s perfect for me!  It’s my dream day, and I’m glad he doesn’t really have things that he wants. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My fiance has been barely interested.  I’ve told him since we (I) made the guest list last OCTOBER to check it and tell me if I’m missing anyone.  He didn’t despite my chronic requests.  We have a maximum space requirement for our venue so I just added some of my own people figuring we had space.  THE DAY BEFORE we had to turn in our addresses to the calligrapher, guess who comes to me with about 10 names we JUST HAVE TO invite.  That’s right, my fiance.  I was pretty irritated because we really don’t have the space and I would’ve invited fewer people had I known he had others he wanted to invite.  Grrrrrr…….. I DO love him, though, just not his lack of planning.

    Post # 39
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I feel a little better after reading this post!! I have the same situation.

    I love him with all my heart, but I’m overwhelmed!

    If I was asking what color he wanted to pain the “project car” or what the inerior color should be, what kind engine blah blah blah…I would get ALL KINDS of answers!

    I think most men just want to show up eat drink and be married! Wink

    Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care, he just probably has confidence/trust in you that you are going to make it GREAT!! I am learning that baby steps and a list are helping get through this planning.

    Good luck to all of you (us)  brides!!!

    Post # 40
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    SAME BOAT HERE!  My Fiance told me before we were engaged that he would want to be in the planning, WRONG!  He hasn’t done anything.  I don’t mind doing the planning because I think if he did it, it would end up all messed up!  Guys dont spend as much time making sure the choices are the best ones, etc.  I’m happy to be planning my wedding although at times I get pissed when he can’t do the small things I ask of him.  To sum it up, I’m not surprised your man doesn’t help, not many men want to participate in wedding planning.  Guess we all should’ve expected that!

    Post # 41
    Member
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t mean to gloat at all. Really, but my fiance has been really really involved… but its just not everybody’s cup of tea, ya know? I think you are just stressed and it would be nice for him to take the lead but sometimes its just not in them! 

     

    Actually, when I was first planning he didn’t do anything. He only started getting involved because I would email him to-do lists while he was at work ^_^ Like… calling the caterer and signing contracts and blah blah blah. Then once he felt comfortable enough he started really helping. Now he’s even doing the bouquets with me! 

     

    Just try being uber specific about what you want him to do. If he doesn’t want to give you his opinion he probably just doesn’t mind either choice, I’m sure if he really cared about a specific aspect he would tell you. 

     

    Good luck.

    Post # 42
    Member
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    What I wanted was something a step above an elopement, and he wanted a real wedding. Well, I am the one who is planning the whole deal, otherwise it would take ten years and would be a b-b-q at a Knights of Columbus Hall.

    I totally feel your pain and your stress. Although we are two months away from the wedding, he now has to join me to meet with the vendors (except the florist) to make all of the final decisions. 

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