(Closed) I love my Future hubby, his family sucks though.

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry for your Fiance and for you having to watch his feelings get hurt.  I know that has to be hard.  Some people just don’t send RSVP’s back right away, unfortunately.  I would, however, be crushed if my grandmother lived two blocks away and wasn’t coming.  You have no idea why?  But, there is still time and you’ll start getting more RSVP’s.  Hopefully your FI’s mother and fathers will be included in that.  Maybe you can try to change his grandmother’s mind, if it is that important to him? 

 

Post # 4
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

it always seems to happen this way!  Don’t start stressing until after the deadline passes.  People will send theirs in at the last minute – even after the deadline!  I wish you the best!

Post # 5
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can completely relate. I love my FH dearly! (obviously) but his family is driving me mad! His parents have done nothing but give us grief about the wedding and I’m just trying to laugh it off/let it slide off my shoulders! Although I can handle it for the most part I feel so bad for him. He so DOES NOT deserve to be treated like crap! My Maid/Matron of Honor said to me that one of the great things about our marriage (other than marring me of courseSmile) is that he will now have a family who loves him, accepts him, respects him and generally cares about him. 

 

I don’t know about you guys, but I sometimes worry about what the future has to hold in that area. I don’t want to have a strained relationship with his family. Family is very important to us but it’s hard to make it number one when their being such a pain!

Hang in there!

Post # 6
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yes, don’t start anticipating the worst until it happens. No sense stressing yourself over this.

However, I am surprised that his family doesn’t seem too inclined to come…Tension?

Post # 7
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry that both of you are having to deal with this.  Coming from the side that my family is the difficult ones – it’s so amazing that his family supports and are so involved and interested in our wedding and marriage.  It’s so nice to be able to focus on the postive (his family) instead of the negative (my family). 

It’s so great that you’re being so supportive of him during this hard time (that should be happy).

-Good Luck!

Post # 9
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The only person to RSVP from DH’s side were his dad and aunt and uncle.  His mom, brother, other uncle and grandmother didn’t RSVP.  I guess they assume they think you know they are coming or not and are excluded from having to follow etiquette?

The only people that RSVP’d on my side were my grandmother, grandfather and his wife, an aunt and my step moms mom. 

I don’t know what is up with family and RSVP’s.  It sucks they aren’t coming, though.

Post # 12
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

With my family, the unspoken is how it goes.  Like they don’t return the rsvp that means they’re not coming but the don’t have the balls to tell you.  So now that’s we’re 3 days away from the rsvp date and the only person on my side that’s rsvp-ed is my step brother.  But if I call they’ll just be like of course we’re coming, blah blah blah but then not show up that day.

Maybe it would be best to plan for them not to come, and then if they do show up say we’re sorry we didn’t think you were coming as you didn’t tell us your decision?

So sorry y’all are going through this!

Post # 14
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Since I have BTDT, your guests have until 10/10 to send in their responses, which is over 3 weeks away.  I know you want to be organized and all that jazz but you cannot control the situation anymore than setting the RSVP deadline. 

Breathe, and let this go until then.  There are bigger fish to fry so stop stressing about something you cannot control.

If 10/10, 10/11, 10/12 rolls around and they still haven’t, then pester the living crap out of them.  If they say they are coming but don’t give you their meal preference, then assign them whatever.  They had the opportunity to choose and they passed on it.  Give them whatever meal they like least.

Post # 16
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

My Darling Husband always refers to my family as “the Nice Family.”  My family loves him.  They support us.  They leave FB messages, they gush about his successes.  They curse his defeats.  They are all around wonderfully supportive of both of us.  HIS family, on the other hand, SUCKS.  I wish there was another way to say it, but they never write letters, not even FB messages.  When our Dirty Delete was born, I had received many cards, gifts, and congrats from even distant relatives.  His own mother still hasn’t even mentioned wanting to SEE the baby.  It’s depressing for him, but he also gets really pissed about it.  He wishes that they were more like my family.  I feel bad for him, but my family always makes his day.  Trust me, not RSVPing to your wedding will not be the last time his family disappoints him.  He’ll continually need your support in dealing with these people!

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