(Closed) I love my lil e-ring but….

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’ve had a similar experience with my ring – but the thing I learned is, you can’t go through life seeking everyone’s approval on everything you do/have.  Fiance and I have a lot of joint financial goals – a huge engagement ring was not one of those goals.

The amount of emotional support we’ve received in our relationship from people we really care about far outweighs the stupid comments about the size of my ring.  I mean, there is no correllation between how in love a couple is to the size of the diamond the woman is wearing.

Post # 4
Member
3227 posts
Sugar bee

@LadyLewis12:  I mean in this day and age society makes us believe a engagement ring has to be a diamond and has to be of large size to meet requirements. This also coming from a day and age where marriages don’t last for more than 5 minutes… Not to mention celebrity marriages (most of them anyway). If you look back to the old days when couples would stay married for over 30 years they’re rings we’re not huge at all. IMO people have lost touch with what a ring signifies in a marriage and that is just a symbol for your love or one another not a fashion statement. That being said, there is nothing wrong with preferring the way a larger diamond looks on your finger or any stone or ring for that matter. I just shouldn’t be peoples rude insensitive comments that lead us to not love our ring. 

I haven’t experienced what you are describing but just remember you are wearing your ring for YOU not for anyone else. When you look down at it you will remember your fiancé and how much you care for eachother. So if they say your ring is cute just say thank you and ignore them if they are trying to offend you. 

Post # 5
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You will get used to it, eventually. My oldest sister married rich and her ring is like, retarded huge. Like almost 50k huge. It’s ridiculous. No matter how beautiful my ring is, mine will always look teeny compared to hers.

Eventually you’ll just stop caring. I’ve been stuck staring at her behemoth ring, so now I’m just used to it. I’m sure your ring is STUNNING. Also, I find that other people always perceive my ring as bigger than it is. You’re so used to staring at your own ring that you just get used to it. I’m sure it looks much bigger to the general public than you imagine.

Post # 6
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Okay, now nobody shoot me in the rear for this, but I totally understand where you are coming from.  

My original e-ring was oh-so-tiny.  I loved my Fiance, therefore I loved my ring. It wasn’t that I was disappointed with the size of the diamond, nor was I even very concerned with others’ opinions of it.  It was just that personally, I wanted it to be a little more obvious that I was engaged.  I was excited about being engaged, and I wanted anyone who looked at my hand to know that I was getting married!  

We have been married for three years, and I have a different ring now.  But I soooo understand what you are feeling. 

Post # 7
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

@the_future_mrs:  “like, retarded huge..” Ohmygosh, that is so funny 😀

Post # 8
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I live in Holland now, and engagement rings here are TINY. Whenever I tell people that the rule of thumb for an engagement ring is 3 months salary, they look at me like I’m crazy (and sometimes even start laughing out loud). I mean, who came up with that rule anyway?! A brilliant marketer who wanted more money, that’s who. I have a 1/2 ct solitaire, and I LOVE IT! But it’s funny because here I am the one with the crazy huge ring, but as soon as I go back to my hometown, I constantly compare my e-ring with others I see around, and then I feel like it is so crazy small. Eventually you will get comfortable with your ring, and everyone will eventually see it. As the newness of the engagement wears off, I think the size will begin to matter less and less, and people won’t make as many comments about it.

CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT BTW! 

Post # 9
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You said this is what he could afford.  Then don’t compare your ring with others, it will never end.  You don’t need a huge rock to have a happy marriage.  Maybe he’s saving money for something more important like buying a house with you?

Post # 11
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Present your ring with confidence when someone asks to see it. Smile proudly. They don’t like it, too bad. They act awkward, that’s their problem. If you begin to act like you need to make an excuse for its size, than people will pick up on that. People are so weird when it comes to this topic…I had someone say to me the other day, “is that real?” UMM yeah it’s real, why would you ask that even if you really thought it wasnt??? UGH.

Post # 12
Member
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I actually happen to like smaller stones more. I think larger stones are gaudy, over-the-top and showy. Isn’t the ring supposed to represent your love for each other, not how much money your SO can spend?

Post # 13
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

MY ering is 1/2 carat TW and I wear it proudly. For me, it is not as important. I do see the looks and one persons asked me if my Fiance wasnt up for VP Position in his IT firm and couldnt afford better- SMDH at people’s expectation. I know where my ring money is going…helping me finish my PHD without any loans but I cannot help but realize how easily people judge your FI’s worth by the ring… lol.

 

Enjoy your engagement and your ring and consider that unlike some, your Fiance did not have to take out a major loan that he will be paying back for quite a while ( I know someone paying back for the next 3 years and yet they live with her parents while they save to pay down on a house) SMDH.

 

s

Post # 14
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

It’s all about marketing. We’re made to believe that larger engagement rings are proper and smaller ones aren’t as good. Well they are! 😀 They’re given with love and should be cherished just as much as any huge showstopper. I love that my Fiance and I have a house instead of a big ring, and that we have everything that we need, BUT, I still got a petite sparkly to love.

I admit, I have fantasized about upgrading to a half carat, but he has said a few times now that I am not allowed to lose my ring, so I think this one is for life. Knowing that it means so much to him makes it mean all the more to me.

Post # 16
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

some people opt not to have an ering at all… maybe after the wedding you could just wear your wedding band instead without the ering?

can you post a picture?

 

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