(Closed) I LOVE this meaningful garter-toss alternative!

posted 8 years ago in Christian
Post # 62
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Fiance and i are doing this! But I’m not really sure some people here understand the symbol. We are doing it to one another.

In Biblical times people wore no shoes or had very thin type of sandals. Peoples’ feet were the dirtiest part of their body. Think of the dirt streets, the horse/donkey manure, etc. The ground outside was super gross. When a guest would enter your home, the people in the lowest position or a servant would be the foot washer.

Christ came to be a servant to all people, he was not a King with a crown and gold throne…he was born in an animal feeder and had a humble background as a carpenter. Between a husband and wife, when you wash the feet it means you humble yourself before the one you love, you show them you will care for them, and put them first in your life. You will “serve” them with your love and devotion (not like a butler or maid lol). I’m not sure how this is degrading to women? It’s not about gender roles at all. It’s about serving others, being kind, loving, not prideful, and humble towards everyone–it’s about humanity.

ALSO: Today you don’t thoroughly sit there and literally scrub the cheese and dirt off someone else’s feet. lol. Everyone pretty much wears shoes these days so it’s very different. In fact, many people make sure their feet are EXTRA clean before they participate in foot washing. And a modern “foot washing ceremony” would be a splash from a jar of warm water poured over the TOP of the foot, and then dried off with a cloth towel. It’s more like a foot splashing and pat-drying than anything else.

ALSO x 2: That picture looks really awkward and out of place in the middle of a reception like that. I think foot washing makes more sense during the ceremony, incorporated before/after your vows…with an explanation of the symbol from the minister or from the bride and groom as they speak to one another in front of their family/friends.


Post # 63
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@LuluInLove:  I agree! I think it is beautiful, but it seems more fitting for a ceremony

Post # 64
9542 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

My fiance and I are considering doing this during our ceremony. I don’t want a unity candle so we’re trying to come up with another tradition (we’re also considering hand-fasting). We would both do the foot washing: I wash his and he washes mine. I’ve done it as part of Maundy Thursday and find it really meaninful and humbling. Ours would have nothing to do with men vs women – it just has to do with comitting to honor and take care of each other. But definately give the guests a description of the meaning as many people will not be familiar with the tradition. 

Post # 65
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

this is very interesting. i am catholic (though, admitedly, not the best catholic…), and yes, i understand the whole foot washing as a sign of respect thing. i am struggling (still) with readings that on the surface seem to put men above women, but that is a discussion for a different time.

my fiance and i are not doing a garter toss at our wedding. we’re only doing the bouquet and leaving it at that. no one needs to see him go up my skirt. its just crude and far too personal. i do feel the same way about the foot washing, though obviously its not crude. but, if you’re going to do it- i’d find it more appropriate to do during the ceremony, not during the reception.

good luck with whatever you choose ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 67
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s kind of weird. I would probably not want to see this done at a wedding.

Post # 68
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where this actually happened. The bride and groom washed each other’s feet though. It was so, so weird. I think that foot washing in the Bible is not really the same as foot washing today (hygeine is much better now than it was in Bible times). I appreciate the meaning behind foot washing but it doesn’t translate very well at a wedding, trust me!!! People still talk about it to this day and it’s almost 4 years later.

Post # 69
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand that some may like this for its religious meaning.  But I don’t get it, both as religious and non religious.  I understand what you are saying about it being humbling….but I still don’t get it.

BUT……no thanks…….seems a bit to fetish for me.  Sorry.  But it does make me think of Sex and the City with Charlotte and the the shoe store guy……..

And, I am also not garter or bouquet tossing.


Post # 71
1 posts

I know ths is kinda old but I just have to say that I think the foot washing is a beautiful idea.  What a wonderful way to publicly display your commitment to humble yourselves to eachother and God.  I think if you do include it as part of the ceremony it would be helpful to explain the meaning to your guests beforehand – what it means biblically and what it means to each of you. (And maybe play a soft Christian song in the background while you’re doing the washing).  It is an excellent avenue for others to explore the bible on their own if they are truly curious about what they just witnessed.

Again, I think this is a beautiful idea! Thanks for sharing ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 72
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Personally not something I would want at my wedding. Ever.

Post # 73
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think this is a little intimate to have at a wedding reception.  I love the idea for right when you get by yourselves alone, maybe?

We did not do the garter toss – well, DH tossed one, but he did not take if off me.  Still icked me out but he wouldn’t budge on it.

Post # 74
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think this is very beautiful. It’s not at all meant to be interpreted as the wife being subserviant to her husband. My Fiance and I are Lutheran (he was born and raised in the faith, I joined the church about a year and a half ago when we were still dating) and on Holy Thurday our Pastor is the one who does this for the members of the church. I experienced it first hand (or first foot ;)) myself this year and it’s a very humbling and moving experience. I even teared up just reading this post. Thank you @risingsun for sharing this ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 75
37 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

Absolutely beautiful.  As a man is to provide for, protect, and honor his wife.  Just as the wife is to respect and support him.  How beautiful that photo–and meaning–is.  He lowers himself before her–just as Jesus did–but to serve.  True love is displayed in that photo.

Post # 76
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you like it, go with it.  Jesus didn’t think about what other people were thinking when he did this for his Apostles.  Actually, they were apalled.  He shouldn’t be serving them!  But he humbled himself.  Degrading?  I think many people misunderstand the roles of followers in the Christian church.  Just like Satan to mislead people and make our faith look bad.  If what Christ did for me and each one of us is degrading, give me degrading every day. 

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