(Closed) “I love your ring! It’s so petite…” vent

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@gvsusara:  HAHA–nice reply!

And, wow, I just read the part where you said your friend told you that she’s glad money was not an object!!!!!!! aksljdfklsjflksksjdfklsdfskjdf!  Is all I’ve got to say!

I still say you have SO MUCH meaning with your ring–not only is it gorgeous, but your grandfather picked it out and your grandmother wore it throughout a long and successful marriage.  That ring is blessed.

Post # 17
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly to me, it doesn’t SOUND rude necessarily, but with the last comment you added she said, I think she was maybe trying to take digs at it without actually sounding like she was…but that’s just MO

Post # 18
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can’t stand people who are passive-aggressive and give these sort of back-handed compliments.  Good for you for ignoring her.

Post # 19
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Fiance and I worked together and so when we came back to work after getting engaged on vacation a lot of people were giddy about seeing the ring. One girl commented, “Wow, I was expecting something like Vanessa’s ring (1ctw), but simple and small works for you too.”

He was standing right there and immediately went into “oh my gosh it isn’t good enough” panic mode. For the record my ring is 1/5 ctw and yes it’s small, but it’s what we could afford at the time and just because it’s small it doesn’t mean he loves me any less. 😀

Post # 20
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

“Oh, I love your ring. It’s so petite like you. It’s not big and gaudy like mine. See mine would look silly on you. Good job, Mr. A., picking out such a great ring for her. She’s so tiny she really needed a small, delicate ring.”

I don’t really think this comment is rude. Blunt? yes…but not rude. You say this is a friend so how does she normally act? Is she normally competitive or is she just plain speaking? This comment alone isn’t offensive to me so is there some past history of issues with this friend that is somehow driving your feelings?

Post # 21
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly, I wouldn’t be offended by what she said!  I, too, have a “petite” ring and it’s something I’m proud of!  She might have worded what she meant poorly, but I completely think she was referring to both proportions and personality. 

 

edit: i just saw her “money wasn’t an object” comment…i’m sorry you had to deal with THAT.  

Post # 23
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

On the flipside, I actually don’t like it when people say my ring is huge, I dont’ think anyone should comment on the size either way. I’m sort of left with the same confusion about what to say in response.. um, thanks? I always say “I love it” to reassure them.

Post # 24
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If we’re under the assumption with diamonds that bigger always equals better, then yes, her comment was rude. However, to be offended by it or at least to continue caring, I think a small part of you would have to agree that your friend’s bigger ring is indeed better.

Personally, I don’t care for diamonds much (my ring is a garnet), so the size issue matters less to me. I think your ring is beautiful.

I would have responded by pushing the antique, family value issue and bragging about my ring. If she meant the comment to be offensive, you can justify your own ring and show how you don’t care and truly love it. And, if she was being honest, you’re able to thank her and move on.

Post # 25
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sounds like your friend isn’t going to win an award for being tactful anytime soon . True friends aren’t purposefully bitchy and rude, but if you know that’s her nature….take it for what it’s worth (aka not much). If she’s not normally abrasive, just take it for one of those situations where someone says something and it comes out badly even though they don’t mean it to be. I’ve had people say things to me that I think came out poorly, but in my heart I know they weren’t intending it to come across that way.

Post # 26
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds as if she was trying to put you down to make herself feel better. The second comment was completey unnecessary and definitely rude! Sorry she said that to you.

Otherwise, though the photo is a little blury, your ring is beautiful! I have my grandmother’s engagement ring and it looks extremely similar!

Post # 27
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know exactly how you feel.  When I first got engaged someone told me…”aw, your ring is so cute”.  It’s not exaclty a negative thing, but I can understand how you feel kind of like wth.

Post # 28
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Belle2Be: I really think that by saying “it’s not big and gaudy like mine” that the offender wasn’t trying to insult herself. It was obviously meant to try and make her ring sound inferior but I’ll bet you everything in my wallet right now that she secretly adores her “big and gaudy” ring and is snickering at OP’s ring beneath her breath.

OP – just ignore her as your ring is stunning and the story behind it? – pricesless

Post # 30
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I get that type of comment a lot too, and my Maid/Matron of Honor has a HUGE, blingy ring – which is perfect for her, just not me. Having tried bigger rings on for S’n’G, they totally overtook my finger and I couldn’t wait to put my ring back on! The story behind your ring far outweighs any carat weight and while I’m not entirely sure your friend was being mean (my mom made a similar comment – minus the money thing – about my ring, and I know she wasn’t being mean!) I would take comfort in the fact that peole will remember your ring far after they have forgetten this girl’s because of its history!

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