(Closed) I make more money than he does

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4045 posts
Honey bee

Why are you discussing your financial situation and your partner’s financial information with anyone? Unless you are a millionaire and he is jobless and penniless, there’s really nothing to discuss. You either trust that he’s with you for the right reasons or you don’t, and leave your family out of it. I come from a wealthy family, and I have never once been concerned that my husband married me for money.

Post # 3
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
princessinwaiting:  Bigger concern here is that your family knows yours and your bf’s financial situations. 

Tell them to butt out and stop talking money with them.

Post # 4
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee

I can’t see you making that much more than him with how you describe it . Unless you are making 6 figures and he is a stay at home parent chances are he is not getting spousal support. Would you want him not to marry you because he made more money than you? Tell your aunt and your mother to mind their own business.

Post # 5
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I know this is a hugely debated topic but would he be willing to do a pre-nup…. that would shut your mom and aunt up pretty quick I would think

 

are there other issues here? I can’t imagine that his salary (especially at 24… that is basically like your first job still) is the whole reason

Post # 6
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee

Just because you make more money does not mean you will have to pay him anything in the event of a divorce. Spousal support is very complicated and the court will consider many factors before they make a decision.

You mentioned he makes anough money to support himself, this would play a huge factor in him receiving support from you, 

 

This is a conversation that you should havwe with your family perhaps privately. And if they are adamant, – get a prenup

Post # 7
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
princessinwaiting:  He’s not engaged to you yet or married, I wouldn’t have shared all of that information with them ESPECIALLY since they don’t like him for “petty” reasons.

It sounds like money is really important to you/family. You may want to rethink your priorities in this relationship and ask yourself if you’re ready for marriage. 

Post # 8
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
soontobemrsKB92615:  her family knows she works in healthcare, if they know what his position is, it would be pretty easy for them to conclude that she makes more than him. 

for example- If she is a doctor and he is an office manager it’s a pretty easy conclusion to come to

Post # 9
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Why do they know how much he makes? If you trust him and are not concerned, it’s time to start shutting down those conversations/questions about how much he makes. Your finances are between you two. Just make sure you have a plan for combining finances, paying bills/debt, and saving. I would let your family know, “thanks for your concern, we have a financial plan in place for our marriage, and you don’t need to worry about this issue anymore.”

If you have tons more money, then I would suggest a prenup, but it sounds like you both are just starting out in your careers.

Post # 11
Member
9567 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Umm… I would never tell my family my partners salary. It’s none of their business. That was a mistake.

Youre 24… Plenty can happen money-wise over your careers. Who knows how you’ll end up. A few years with a good salary doesn’t make you a Rockefeller, ya know? So I doubt him using you is a real concern. Those colors would have shown already.

Post # 12
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Makes me wonder what they would be saying if the financial situation was reversed and you were the one making less while he made more.  I doubt that they would be telling you that getting married is a bad idea and that you are using him for his money.  Am I right?

If I were you I would be telling your family to mind their own damn business.

Post # 13
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
janedw:  You’re right. But that doesn’t mean she needs to entertain the conversation with them. Frankly, my finances are none of my parents concern. The OP needs to tell her parents and meddling Aunt to butt out. 

Besides, they are only 24 and 25. I doubled my salary between 24 and 30. So there is a possibility that by the time their wedding comes around, or shortly afterwards, he could be making more than she is – because she said there is plenty of room for advancement in his career and could end up making more than she is. 

View original reply
princessinwaiting:  OP – you know what is right for you and if you want to marry this man, go for it. Don’t listen to your family who has backwards views on male and female roles. And go on with your bad self for landing a great career making great money at 25! 

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