(Closed) I manage not to talk, but my face….

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1010 posts
Bumble bee

I just straight up told my SO that just like making the decision to propose (and eventually marry) is hard, waiting is also hard, and that if I seemed withdrawn, sad, or quiet, he knew why, and I wasn’t being that way to spite him or to manipulate him.  I told him that I could and would be patient, and to take the time he needed, but not to expect me to behave as if I were happy all the time when I’m not happy all the time while he’s taking the time to make this decision; I’m not going to be continuously sad, but sometimes I will be, and just because I’m not going to go out of my way to shove my feelings in his face doesn’t mean he’s not going to catch little glimpses of them here and there.

Post # 4
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I feel a little bit resentfull too 🙁 Waiting is really hard and when he tells me that after dating for 7 years, and living together for almost 2, that marriage didn’t even cross his mind because we are too young (both 25), it hurt like hell.


I told him that if we get engaged, probably will be married in 1 or 2 years, so we are not that young since we want kids. It hurt really bad and I was sad and unconfortable around him for a few days. Now I really try to see the bright side, I have a man that loves me and I love him too, time will eventually pass… But I can feel your pain.


Sorry you’re sad 🙁 :hug:


Post # 5
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@soupir:  yep been there…I never complained about it to him though…didnt want to come across as needy…eventually I decided enough of feeling badly!..for me taking back the power was deciding to push  it out of my mind…in fact after several months he mentioned something about it a couple of times and I just laughed and said yeah, if you EVER get around to asking me…and then one day he did:) I think when my whole demeanor was kinda needy and sad it got me nowhere..good luck!

Post # 7
1077 posts
Bumble bee

@Polyphemus:  I’m totally stealing this. I’ve been struggling with a way to articulate that to my SO since he stopped giving me hints. I know I don’t get hints anymore because it’s soon, but that doesn’t make it less hard for me!

Post # 8
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@batwoman:  Stealing your stealing :p

@Polyphemus:  Like batwoman said, stealing this! Been having so much trouble getting it across to SO – he thinks I’m trying to manipulate him when I’m just damn sad that he’s taking so long to catch up

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