- 7 years ago
There. I’ve said it. (also, not posting under my real handle because of the nature of the topic)
Fist, the back story: When Darling Husband (lets call him Frank) and I first started dating in college, I knew he smoked some pot. It was college, lots of people did… and I really didn’t care. I wasn’t a huge fan, but hey… who was I to tell him what he could and could not do? A little further into the relationship, I discovered through one of his friends that Frank was taking pharmacuticals recreationally; that I was 100% NOT okay with. I confronted him about it, and he promised he would stop because it was upsetting me. Several months later, I discovered through the same friend that Frank was still taking pills; we broke up shortly thereafter because of the breach of trust.
We were on again/off again through most of college because Frank never was able to get his drug use in check. Eventually we went our seperate ways because I was uncompromising to be in a relationship with someone who regularly used drugs.
Eventually, Frank checked himself into in-patient rehab. After he got out, he moved back home with his parents to get his life straightened out and back in order. Things eventually got better, he got a great job, moved out of his parents house… and that’s when we started talking again. All of a sudden, he was the person I fell in love with all those years again. Things were great.
We got engaged, we moved in together, we bought a house together, and eventually got married. We had over two years without any real problems. Then the problems started. Darling Husband was drinking to the point of intoxication most nights, and when I confronted him about it… the only real outcome was he started hiding his drinking from me. (i.e., he would hide a pint-glass full of wine behind the coffee maker and chug a bunch while I was in the living room watching a movie) Obviously, these are signs of addictive behaviour and I asked him to seek help. Instead, he promised he would cut back his drinking.
Things slowly got better, he was drinking less most of the time. I knew enough that forcing to seek counseling would only make things between us worse, I let them go for the most part.
The current big issue: We’re currently in the middle of a very big move overseas. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety and went to the Dr. last week to get some medicine because the stress was keeping me up at night. The Dr writes me a prescription for some xanax and I go on my way. Coincidently, a few days later… I step funny, fall, and hurt my foot pretty badly. I go back to the doctor, and he writes me a prescription for some pain pills and anti-inflamatories and tells me to come back in a week.
Well, after having both prescriptions for less than a week… and only taking one xanax at night, and 1 or 2 pain pills a day… I find out that lots and lots of my pills are missing. 30+ pain pills and about 20 xanax. Yes, my husband that used to be addicted to pharmacuticals stole my medicine.
When we first got married, I made it abundantly clear that if he EVER took drugs again that we would no longer be together. I’ve seen him go down that path, and I refuse to go down that path with anyone.
Now I just feel torn, and hurt, and betrayed, and upset. Do I stick to my guns and leave? Do I give him another chance? I’m so hurt I can’t think rationally.