(Closed) I may be delaying him with my mood swings

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
748 posts
Busy bee

Well, you need to back off for a while. You sound EXACTLY like me a couple of months ago. Read this article: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/13231665/ns/today-weddings/t/want-man-propose-be-bitch/#.TxyTaW9SSg4

You need to back off, calm down, and do your own things for a while. Just be “chill” to him. If you’re worried about stuff, write in your journal or read about these things (relationship self-help books can really help for the future as well, just don’t bug him with what you’ve read). Bite your tongue when you feel like you’re getting insecure and want to go over and ask him silly questions like “do you still want to marry me?” or tell him what you’re worried about. Give him some space, and you’ll both be fine. You need to work to get out of this phase, but you don’t have to drag him down with you.

Whatever will be, will be. You can’t control or prevent everything, and sometimes trying to do so can cause more harm than good. Just relax and let things take their course. Problems, issues, and misunderstandings will always appear, and it’s a good skill to learn how to deal with them when they do arise. If you think this is the man for you, then relax and just trust that you two will be able to communicate and deal with whatever comes up.

Post # 5
5881 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Try reading Conscious Transitions web site. It may help you understand why you are acting the way you.

Post # 7
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@juneebee:  I know how you feel. Me and my SO had the serious talk about engagement back in July when he gave me his timeline. After that I was cool for about 5 months straight, and he even thanks me for being so patient and understanding of him working on himself. Well now that we are getting closer to the end of the timeline (May of this year), I think I am panicking, thinking he won’t meet it. So in turn I am an emotional wreck and acting like a crazy woman, nagging, withdrawing, criticizing, instead of supporting, complimenting his progress, and continuing to be patient.

I think I’m scared it’s getting closer, and also afraid it won’t happen when he said it would. Idk….waiting makes you crazy!

Hang in there. I think we tend to be parnoid that our SO’s feelings for us will change when we act crazy . Even if you have delayed it slightly, I think it’s easy to get back on track by just getting your feelings in check (which I realize is easier said than done). Once you’re back to normal he won’t even remember all the other stuff and hopefully he’ll wonder why he didn’t get on the ball sooner. Goodluck!

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