(Closed) I may be in the minority here

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I can see your point, if you’re not living together, etc.  Nice topic.

Post # 4
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I can see the argument of having a better career in order to pay for the wedding (it’s expensive!) and be able to better set up a life after the wedding (if you choose to wait until after marriage to buy a house/have kids/etc).  

Post # 5
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s possible to have a nice wedding without breaking the bank, so I’m in the “Why wait?” mindset.

Post # 6
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

By the way, I do live with my fiance and while both of us have jobs, neither of us will have our secure, higher paying dream career at the time of the wedding. I was just speculating as to why others may think this.

Post # 8
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Statutory Grape: I’ve realized too that it’s possible to have a nice wedding without spending a ton of money but I know some people would probably rather wait to have the money to have something more extravagant.  I realized I can have my dream wedding even if it’s much different than the one I imagined at age fourteen and I’d rather get married sooner too : )

Post # 9
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

We’re both full time students (age 22) and work 30 hrs/wk (pretty tough) but we made the decision to postpone our wedding until he has a full time job with benefits b/c I could never take a chance on either of our health just to get married.  We live in the same apartment with separate bedrooms and split the costs of rent, utilities, and food.  Health insurance is a huge deal for us, it would be an additional minimum $3000 that we don’t have for 1 year and there’s not even a gurantee he’ll have a job at graduation with his engineering degree (we’d have to take out private student loans for that and we’re avoiding them like the plague).  So I’d rather be cautious and prudent.  It really sucks since we’re paying for our schooling, living expenses, wedding, EVERYTHING but our current health insurance ourselves with no assistance from our parents.  But we’re adults and we take on that burden when we turn 18…

Post # 10
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@mandb122: Very true. We’ve had to downsize our plans to fit our budget, but it’s not going to be any less special–just different. 🙂 A wedding is a party for one day. I’d rather save the money we would have spent on a huge, extravagant wedding and take those assets into the actual marriage with me, but I respect the decisions of those who value the showmanship, too.

Post # 12
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@beekiss2: We have talked about the whole health insurance thing too.  It is very expensive to cover spouse and employee (an extra $300 a month for my insurance plan).  He’s not technically full time yet since he’s still in school (we’re also 22) so that’s originally why we had a longer engagement, he just ended up with an extra semester of school and we didn’t want to push it back further.  

Post # 13
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Well, I am not in the waiting for a more secure career category, but we are waiting for financial reasons. I am the kind to jump right in and figure out the finances later, but my boy wants to know that we can afford the wedding before we get married.

We bought a house a year ago, and for us that was far more important in setting up our lives together (right time, got a great deal, etc) than getting married. Now we are saving while we pay off our mortgage at the same time and hopefully when we get a little bit of money saved up we can take the next step.

The laws are a bit different in Australia though… so because we are living together we are considered a domestic partnership and therefore get the same tax breaks as a married couple and all that, so we wont be getting married until we can afford the dream day!

Post # 15
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

For us there are a couple of factors. One – SO is younger than me and still finishing his degree. I on the other hand, graduated five years ago and have a job and a house. If we got married right away I think he’d feel like a kept man, which he is not nor does he want to feel like one. We at least will wait until he’s graduated. Additionally, he gets awesome financial aid since he’s 26 and paying his own way and he simply wouldn’t get the grant money if we were married. Not that I can afford to pay for tuition (I still have $20K in student loan debt myself!) but the FAFSA would think so!

Our other reason does come down to finances. We don’t want a huge fancy wedding but we do want to get married on the beach in a tropical island location and that costs some amount of money. We definitely want to have “our” wedding, not a wedding we have to settle for. Since we already live together, why rush it?

That being said, I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting my ring and being able to plan plan plan!

Post # 16
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly, we’re not waiting. We are 22. I will still have to student teach by the time we are married. He is in the military, so at least his paycheck is steady plus we will have good insurance and will always have options on a place to live. As of now, I have a fairly good retail job that is a pretty steady amount of hours. About 6 months after the wedding, I will have my BA.

Of course, Uncle Sam played a role in our not waiting. Fiance has a years grace period where he couldn’t get deployed after finishing training. So, we had to plan the wedding before May 2011. We figured wedding and student teaching was a bad idea, so that made it by the end of 2010, and we didnt want it too close to X-Mas. So, 10/30/10 is was.

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