(Closed) I may be overreacting BUT…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How should I respond to the evite:
    "Yes," because they wouldn't invite you if they didn't want you there : (100 votes)
    70 %
    "No," because you are an obvious afterthought - awkward! : (31 votes)
    22 %
    "No," and send the email explaining why : (8 votes)
    6 %
    Why are you even friends with these people? : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    That’s strange. I would also be offended but…

    Do you want to go to the event or don’t you? It sounds liked the event before so I would go. If you don’t want to that’s fine too but DO NOT send that email. Just politely decline. 

    Post # 4
    5762 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’d be annoyed too, but I’d seethe in silence. You probably wouldn’t enjoy yourself if you went  knowing what you now know, so I’d probably skip it.

    Post # 5
    2351 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I personally wouldn’t say anything. I just wouldn’t go.

    Post # 8
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MrsPanda99: ohh honey, yes, you’re overreacting. I think you’re right to be a bit put out, but that email you’re thinking of sending is way too much. If they’re friends of yours they either (1) completely overlooked you, unintentionally and are embarassed enough that they forgot to invite you in which case your email calling attention to their faux-pas would be very unkind or (2) actually did not want to invite you for some reason and only invited you because you brought it up. You know them, we don’t. Which is more likely? From the story it sounds like the first. I also wanted to point out that you specifically said that you wanted to come, so declining now would make you look a little psycho. Then the host is gonna post a thread on here entitled “NWR: Weirdo Ex-Friend Fishes For Invite, then Declines.” I say, accept, go for a while, scope out the vibe and make your next move (stay or leave) accordingly. 


    Post # 9
    1222 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @MrsPanda99:  I would be ticked! Sure it’s passive aggressive, but I would send the email. The thing that gets me is that they basically lied to your face when they tried to act like they had just thought of hosting the event at that moment. If they really had meant to invite you, they would have said “Oh my gosh, did we not send you an invite to that?? Of course we would love to have you!” and all would have been well. Instead they tried to be sneaky about it. It’s insulting, really. 

    Post # 10
    5221 posts
    Bee Keeper

    This reminds me of when we were wedding planning and had constructed our guest list for invitations. We had EVERYONE listed and save the dates addressed and ready to be sent out when I totally forgot about my best friend! I could not believe that I remembered my moms Aunt Mildred, but totally forgot about my best friend! I thought it was hilarious, so I told her about it. She was actually pretty pissed, so it didn’t go over as well as I thought it would ( like OOOOPs- bride brain!), so I just got super embarrassed and remembered that moving forward, her name was the first to go on the invitations.

    Post # 12
    1162 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  I agree with Overjoyed, go and scope them out to see what they’re like πŸ˜› If they didn’t want you there it will probably be kind of obvious! That’s when I would pipe up, but not quite like that email, maybe a little more toned down haha πŸ™‚

    Post # 15
    1162 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  Haha that sounds just like Fiance and I! That’s exactly how our conversations go when it comes to “girly”, feelings-hurt kind of events that they just don’t quite get πŸ˜›

    The bee is so good for perspective πŸ™‚

    Post # 16
    12005 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  based on your last post it sounds like she didn’t want to throw her hubby under the bus for forgetting to invite you.  It always sounds super lame when people say ‘what, you didn’t get your invite, that’s strange…’ and people tend to not believe you (I’m learning this as several of our STD’s got lost in the mail and there have been some hurt feelings and people thinking we’re adding them out of obligation – which isn’t the case at all).

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