(Closed) I may have to spill the beans sooner than expected.

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
2223 posts
Buzzing bee

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phillygirl93 :  damn…this exactly what I was afraid of happening to you. I think you should straight up tell him that over the past few months, you’ve been seriously reevaluating the relationship and don’t think that marriage is in the cards for you two right now. when he asks why, tell him that waiting so long past your originally agreed upon timeline without him communicating with you has made you grow a bit resentful, and getting engaged isn’t the best thing to do while you’re still sorting through these feelings.

 

that way, you won’t have to break up and be uncomfortable immediately, but you also significantly reduce the chances of him popping the question before you’ve made your final decision.

 

do you even want to marry him anymore?

Post # 32
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2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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phillygirl93 :  have you looked at any hostels in your area (or many even women’s shelters?) some hostels can be as low as $15-20 a night for special circumstances. I doubt your roommate would kick you out because then he’s be responsible for 100% or the rent. You would not be leagally obligated to pay if he kicked you out unless the two of you had another signed agreement between the two of you for rent.

I guess worst case scenario is that he’d leave you and also refuse to pay rent. Then you’d be on the hook for the whole thing. Anyways… I’m still not sure when you didn’t just flat out say this sooner. It all could have been avoided if you handled this like a grown a$$ stable woman. 

Post # 35
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2223 posts
Buzzing bee

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phillygirl93 :  well then, stall. give him a dose of his own medicine. But be upfront and tell him not to buy a ring yet so he won’t potentially be screwed out of thousands. If you care, that is. If not, proceed as you see fit. 

 

Im glad to see that you’ve made a decision for yourself and aren’t letting him rope you back in with engagement talk. His stalling poisoned your relationship. He has no one but himself to blame.

Post # 37
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

But OP, what’s going to happen when your landlord asks if you intend to renew? In my experience, they usually do this a few months before your lease expires. Your cover may be blown soon even if he doesn’t propose.

Post # 38
Member
947 posts
Busy bee

You’re not addressing the fact that people are repeatedly telling you he CAN’T kick you out if you’re both on the lease so your reasons for not breaking up with him are flimsy.

Post # 39
Member
730 posts
Busy bee

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phillygirl93 :  If you have decided not to marry him, why don’t you want to move on with your life as soon as possible then?

This is a serious question, I’m not trying to be mean to you. I haven’t read your threads before and I don’t have any beef with you, I’m sincerely asking because I think that being honest with your B.F. would allow you to move on as cleanly and as soon as possible.

Post # 43
Member
730 posts
Busy bee

 

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Tatum :  This is a good point. Landlords will typically give you the chance to sign another lease for next year 2-3 months ahead of the lease expiring so that they have time to show the apartment to people if you decide not to re-sign, so that someone can move in when you move out. Landlords don’t want to lose out $ on a place that isn’t being rented.

Post # 44
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

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phillygirl93 :  I don’t see how he could be a dick about the furniture if you said in your previous thread that you have already wrote that all off and don’t want to take it with you. So what’s the issue?

You are creating obstacles for yourself. Every time someone gives you advice you have 3 new reasons as to why you can’t break up.

You can’t break up with him because you are still involved, you are holding on and you are secretly glad he asked about ring sizes. Just admit it to yourself. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here posting about his guy that you ‘dont care about’ AGAIN.

Post # 45
Member
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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phillygirl93 :  what do you even mean loses his cookies? Also… people have mentioned shelters to you before but you choose to ignore them. There are places to go. You’re CHOOSING not to. 

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