(Closed) I may have to spill the beans sooner than expected.

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 61
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

If you’re set on staying until your lease ends and are not interested in breaking up until then, then I agree with some PPs to push the conversation off. “You made me wait when you weren’t ready, so please respect that now I am not ready and give me some time and space.” I don’t want to go against what you’ve already made clear—if you feel that you’ve thought through a plan and that’s what you want to stick with, we can’t really convince you do to anything else. Sounds like your mind is made up, so I’d rather give an opinion based off of what your plan is rather than what it isn’t. Maybe you’re not looking for advice so much as feedback or opinions or a community to commisserate with. We won’t all be able to identify with your situation or agree with your plan since we’re all different people who handle things in our own way, so you’re going to encounter advice and insight you might not like, but that’s what you get when you post in a community forum. The intention here is to help.

Anyway, when is your lease up? Does Philly require 30-days notice to be given to the landlord before the lease ends? I live in California and that’s what is required here. I ask because if that’s the case, your break up conversation needs to at least happen before then. You can’t just move out on the last day of your lease, unforuntately, without any planning or talks happening with your soon-to-be ex beforehand. Have you thought about how you want to go about that conversation? Have you checked out any studios in the area to make plans for when one is available in your timeframe? If you still have a few months, this is the best time to make arrangements (plans for moving your things, solidifying a move-out and move-in date, divvying up items, etc). Hope all works out.

Post # 62
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2020

Based on some of your other posts, it sounds like you were secretly harboring hate and resentment towards him while acting normal (which makes you sound insane).

You kept pushing for him to propose and he said he wanted the proposal to be a surprise. He said he wanted to live with you first (which is completely reasonable) and you scoffed at it. You have been secretly going on these forms and trashing him, while acting like nothing is wrong in front of him. He is now dropping hints that he wants to propose and you act like he is the biggest jerk in the world for that.

Just break up with him and move on with your life. You keep asking for advise, then disregard all the advise given to you with some excuse.

Post # 63
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@ 1oftheonlyguyshere   Oh look, a man’s graced us with his presence long enough to start calling women insane.

Color me surprised.

Post # 64
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2018

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@ duchessgummybunns   as opposed to the five other pages of girls saying the exact same thing?

Post # 66
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

On the face of it it appears to be insanity to string someone along because of your rental lease. That is not reasonable to my mind. I must have missed something because it seems a lot of people think that’s quite normal. 

Post # 70
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

How are things OP? Is he still “proposing”? Hope everything’s status quo and he hasn’t realised you intend to leave. He hasn’t discussed the lease coming to an end has he?

Post # 72
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

View original reply
@ phillygirl93   I see. Well, not long to go now! I’m sending you positive vibes and good wishes. Hopefully this should be a quick and easy transition. Like ripping off a bandaid!

Post # 73
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@ phillygirl93   rooting for you!! If he can have his “surprise proposal” you can give him a “surprise moveout”!! SURPRISE BETCHES! Don’t we all love a good one sided, unilateral decision that affects both people in relationship? YAS. Hope you find that new apartment soon!

Post # 74
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I get that you have financial hardships but it seems completely insane to live a lie and lead him on for this long. You will have all of your ducks in a row but what about your S/O? You will be giving him zero time to figure out a living situation. Why treat a person that you once loved and wanted to marry like this? Because he took too long to propose to you? You wanted open communication about a timeline from him yet here you are doing exactly what he’s doing, doesn’t that make you feel awful? People have suggested so many better options to you. You should consider womaning up and telling him your plans, be a mature adult about it. 

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