(Closed) I maybe shouldn’t have asked…..FMIL sent picture request list…???

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Uhh isn’t the bride and grrom suppose to be part of all the photos the wedding day? If they aren’t then there shouldn’t be a reason why you have to worry about these pictures. Let Uncle Bob with the family camera take them. You are paying your photographer to trail you and your Fiance around and take pictures that YOU want for your wedding album.

My Future Mother-In-Law wants to take a bunch of photos. Due to time constraints, we sort of told her where she stands with picture taking. We get the pics we want and then at the reception she can line us up for anything she wants. If it were up to Future Mother-In-Law (who is a hobby photog) she would be having Fiance with every aunt, every uncle, every cousin, one with grandma, one with grandpa, one with grandpa and all the grandkids, one without, and on and on.

If getting pictures with the grandkids is important, then do that if you have time to accomodate it. But the professional photog is for you guys. I don’t know if you will have time to do all those photos, and if you do you better have it organized very well (ie someone to round up all these people and keep them there so it doesn’t take 30 minutes to find everyone).

Post # 4
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You may want to remind Future Mother-In-Law that it could be challenging to scope out all these people (aka, chase them down) to be in the pictures, then do the same for the next grouping.  Truthfully, I think this list of requests is too long to accompany with all the other photos you want in a reasonable timeframe.  But then again, I’m a future bride too, so what do I know?! 😉

I would just take this list as a guide, and pick out a few from here to incorporate in with you own list.  You can just tell Future Mother-In-Law that you appreciate her guidance but the photographer just can’t squeeze in ALL of those pics in the timeframe, so some may need to be done with personal cameras after the fact.

I don’t think that’s rude at all; you asked her opinion and plan to do a number of the groupings she shared. 🙂 

EDIT: I forgot to mention, I totally agree with you and other PP—YOUR wedding photographer is not there to be taking family pics (without you and the groom).  That’s why people get professional family photos done on their own time. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That list is really inappropriate. Your wedding is not a chance for everyone else to get a free photographer for their family photos.

And she didn’t have the bride or groom in any of those shots….which would have made it at least understandable.

Post # 7
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Future grandmother in law wanted to do something similar and bascially make a family picture session out of our wedding. We politely but firmly told her no. We are paying a photographer to document our wedding, and we only have so much time.

Post # 8
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would let Future Mother-In-Law know that you only have a specific amount of time with the photographer and trying to track down all those people will be time consuming plus… Where are the pics with the Groom? I’m not really too hung up on the whole getting pics with fam type of thing. If Fiance and I are not in it, the pic will NOT be taken. I’m sorry Im just like this and I dont care.

Post # 9
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yeah, any picture that doesn’t include the bride or groom is basically just a favor to the people in it — like, I’ve included on my list a picture of my mom, her sister, and their mother, because who knows if they’ll have another chance to get a picture like that. But since I’m not in it, I’m ALLOWING it to happen, as opposed to them demanding it!

Post # 10
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with PPs stating that this list is not appropriate. I’d politely tell her thank you, and that if there is time some of these shots may be taken however, the photog’s first priority is of course documenting the wedding and its participants.

Post # 11
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

This is exactly why I’m not asking my parents, nor my future in-laws which pictures they’d like.  Fiance and I are quitely deciding this ourselves.  I think it’s pretty nervey for your Future Mother-In-Law to think this is a photography circus and basically try to derail it into a family photo session.  Think of all of the photos your photogs will miss while they’re trying to get every combination of family members in photos that dont’ include YOU and the GROOM.  Ridiculous!! Personally, I’d rather my photogs snap candid pictures of our cocktail hour or pictures of our details, etc.  YOu shouldn’t pay a photographer to take a bunch of family combo pics you don’t need/want. 

Post # 12
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

To add onto my comment to make it sound not as harsh, I have a photo booth waiting at the reception venue to comfortably seat 6 adults so if they want to do fam photos, they can do it there.

Post # 13
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah… uh… this is a wedding, not a family reunion.  They can take big group shots the next day, on their own dime and time.

I wouldn’t ask anyone else for their shot lists.  We didn’t even provide our photographers with one of our own, let alone let other people have an opinion.  We still got some group shots but jeez… this is over-kill.  And none of them include you!  I’d be pissed.

Post # 14
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

How long do you have your photographer? We had extra time with ours, and actually did some family shots, and some couples photos for a friend who was 8 months pregnant and her husband. In my opinion, it was a professional photographer who was getting paid a flat rate for the entire day – why NOT let those I care about get a few good shots out of it? I think our second shooter took the majority of those kind.

I didn’t personally feel the need to be in every single photo, or to have the camera trained on me for eleven hours straight.

Post # 15
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with PP’s.  (From a Photographers persective) All those breakdowns will take a long time!  It’s not the easiest thing in the world to make sure everyone stays put for photos, move everyone in and out (with crying children and the eldery), and not have this take a while.  It also looks like you aren’t in some of these shots?  I would just tell Future Mother-In-Law that you talked to your photographer and time does not permit for all of these requests, and maybe have her break it down to the two most important.  

Post # 16
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

Whoa.     I think you should not have asked.  While I am a Future Mother-In-Law, I feel this list goes beyond the boundaries of wedding photography.  If given this request, the only picture I would have requested is a picture of my husband with our two sons (the groom and his brother) but that would be the extent of it.  I would assume that there would be a picture of the bride and groom with my husband, myself and our other son.

At this point, you may want to explain to your Future Mother-In-Law that the number of pictures to be taken are limited and you were thinking of specific pictures directly related to bride, groom and immediate family.  Explain that because of limitations you were planning one extended family picture for each side of the bride and grooms family but, unfortunately, can’t accommodate this entire list.  If you or your Fiance have godparents, maybe that would be a separate picture, as would pictures with grandparents, but that would be as extended as I could imagine…..unless you have an unlimited budget.

Oh my dear, I wish you well with this situtation.

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