(Closed) "I mean, we both know I'm getting married long before you do!"

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We have been together for a while so the main thing was “you’re GETTING married? I thought you already were!” Not wearing a ring but okayyy. The only rude thing was when I person I did not care for kept saying how my ideas were bad and I should have the exact same wedding she had. No, no, not going to do that for so many reasons. She was my boss at the time so I was stuck trying to be polite. 

Post # 3
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Golly! It’s amazing how people can just say the dumbest things. It’s like there’s no connection between the brain and the mouth. Sorry she said this to you. She sounds like a snarky type of person, but maybe it came out wrong? Either way, I’d be upset and wouldn’t give her much help. 

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I’m stuck on…they have a date, venue, bridal party, and guest list but they’re NOT engaged. Huh???

Post # 5
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

busy3bee:  Yeah I was wondering the same thing!

Post # 6
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

IveBeenDreaming:  they’re most definitely engaged, just for the record. There might not be a ring and he might not have got down on one knee and asked the words but that is not the only way two people can get engaged…anyway your friend made a stupid comment. I’m not sure if it was meant to be hurtful but it was certainly a bit insensitive.

I got the same as theatreJulia in that people assumed we were already married. But we lived together and did everything together so it’s not like we were dating. I never ‘waited’. We decided to marry after six years but I was never waiting for a proposal, it wasn’t a thing for me. It was for other people though! Every time I returned from a break away my colleagues would grab my hand to check for a ring! “Oh, he still hasn’t proposed then?!” “Well no, obviously not..were you expecting him to?” So my colleagues did the waiting on my behalf I suppose!

Post # 7
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m still waiting and a no longer friend of mine would always be like “you’re getting married before me! I don’t trust my boyfriend he’s asked to propose before and I keep saying no. He can’t afford the ring I want anyways.” and the moment they found out my boyfriend was looking at rings? Two weeks later they were engaged after they picked out a ring at the first store they went to and he proposed the day he got the ring. And then they shoved it in our faces for months. Everyone else has been very supportive of my wait (even my boyfriend now that he has the proposal planned) but I found that keeping your head high and just being there even with the crappiness of having to wait when others get engaged first or think they will be is worth it. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 8
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

IveBeenDreaming:  “i know he is going to ask soon, but you shouldn’t be married yet”

“You’re talking about wedding dresses? You sound like morello!” (Orange is the new black reference on a character who is delusionally planning her wedding when she isnt even engaged to the man she is obsessed with)

 

 

Post # 9
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

lunabee11:  Oh yes! I have gotten the “You are planning and you aren’t engaged yet? *Awkward glance to other person*”

Post # 10
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

During our 9 years of dating we had quite a few people decide to make snarky remarks about us. One that really stuck out to me, and really hurt my feelings, was when a girlfriend of one of our close friends said to me “I just feel so bad for you, because we are so much further along in our relationship. We are already looking at engagement rings!” They had been together for 2 years and we had been together for 6 at that point. I wanted to punch her in the face. 2 weeks later, they ended up broken up. When I told our friend what his ex-gf had said to me, he got really upset and started to apologize to us. He said that they had not been looking at rings at all & he was mad tht she said what she did to me.

Another friend got in to an argument with my Fiance (then BF) at a bar one night, and told him to “Man up & hurry up and propose to me like a real man.” He then said that he was better than my Fiance because he had his shit together and was engaged and getting married…6 months later their wedding was called off and they haven’t seen each other in 4 years. 

We have had several others do the same. Now, 9 years in to our relationship, we are getting married. We have noticed a trend over the last 9 years – those people who constantly judged and compared our relationship to theirs, no longer are together. We always joke (to ourselves) now that if anyone decides to talk crap about us taking so long to get married is only cursing their own relationship. 

Post # 11
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

IveBeenDreaming:  ouch! a bit snarky of a comment there, but try not to let it get to you too much. i admit i myself have had a couple of word vomits and i felt really bad after saying it, sometimes i’m just not thinking before i say it. i’ve learned to watch my mouth more nowadays! haha.

Post # 12
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Most thoughtless thing was a “friend” texted me the night we got enaged to tell me im a terrible person and friend for not running to her house to tell her my Darling Husband had proposed. Yea, I was busy calling family thousands of KMs away…. b!tch lol. 

Post # 13
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

IveBeenDreaming:  oh my! This has happened to me as well ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

In my case though she said it while she was having an affair with her now boyfriend while I had been with my now Fiance for 8 years.

ive now been engaged for 6 months while she is in tears nearly once a week cause he treats her so badly (shocking, right?!) I’d ignore her, In my experience people say things like this when they are insecure in their own relationship ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
2443 posts
Buzzing bee

This doesn’t quite apply, because I was engaged at the time, but…. I’m going to add it anyway. 

My fi’s brother proposed to his gf in Novemeber, he lives out of state so we decided to wait for our proposal, so they cold have the attention on the from the holidays. That was a concious choice that we made and talked about, because we didn’t want to take anything away from them. 

Well my Fiance proposed mid January. You would think that was plenty of time for them to enjoy their moment. Well apprantEly not. When we announced out engagement his brother and fi said “thanks for stealing our thunder! Congrats, I guess.” I was LIVID! I ignored it and talked to my Fiance and he said they were only joking, but I really don’t think so. We have a wedding g this weekend that they are flying in for where they are going to officially announce their wedding date. Which is ridiculous and just another way for them to try and take attention away from anyone else. Ugh! It still makes me mad thinking about it!

Post # 15
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Ugh! Some people need to insert foot before talking. We know this couple who have been together about 2.5 years off and on. My bf and I have been together about 7 years. On his birthday he decided to propose to her in private after we all went to dinner. Anyway the next day I get this text with a picture of the ring and she said well now its officially your turn tell “bf name” he can propose now! So glad to have her tell me now I can be engaged. Maybe she was trying to be nice who knows. It just felt like it turned in to a competition that I didn’t know about. 

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