Boyfriend or Best Friend and I met on OkCupid. I’d done POF and Match, but never met anyone that I dated more than a month or so.We were a 94% match according to the questions, and he really is my best friend, so here we are now almost a year later starting to plan the rest of our lives together. I’d say the site did a pretty good job matching us up
Around about a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving 2013 he had been looking at my profile a couple times a day for a few days and I thought he was cute and I liked his profile but I thought surely he would make the first move. After about a week of him being a looky-lou there was still no message and I was starting to get annoyed. I messaged him and jokingly said that I was starting to wonder if he was a serial killer just looking for victims. He responded back within an hour with a super long message and we emailed back and forth multiple times a day for about a week. Then we started talking on the phone…the conversations would last for four and five hours and were just so easy. We made plans to meet the week before Christmas but they fell through because of an emergency lack of a babysitter on my end, and he was going out of town for Christmas right after that so we said that we would just meet up when he got back. Well, a couple of days before Christmas he just stops texting and doesn’t call. Completely dark. At first I didn’t really think anything of it, and then it was just obvious that he was being silent. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was just so sad about it. We had talked so much and had really gotten to know each other through our phone conversations. I felt like I lost a close friend. It sucked but I just chalked it up to another instance of what can happen with online dating and moved along. On Jan 3rd, I got a text from him apologizing profusely, telling me that I was a wonderful person and he just wanted me to know that he was sorry he had gone silent, that the holidays were a tough time for him (previous death of this father, divorced a year ago) and he hoped that I would forgive him. I was kind of upset when I got that because it didn’t seem like he was apologizing with the desire of wanting to talk again. It was just an apology, but that brought back the feelings that had started to develop and at that point, irritated me more than anything because I had moved past it enough to just go on. I wasn’t going to respond back because it didn’t seem to me that he was still interested.
Two days later, that text message was still bugging me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I sent a short text back asking why he would text to apologize after that period of silence/blowing me off. He instantly responded, apologized again, and said that he just felt so terrible about going silent and didn’t want to leave it that way. I felt ridiculous and thought that it seemed so desperate of me, but I just had to know if he was still interested. So, I texted back, “so, you’re not interested anymore…” and he said that yes, he was, he just felt so stupid that he had messed everything up so badly and was sure that I hated him now but he just had to apologize so that I would know it was all him and nothing I did.
Again, I felt ridiculous and couldn’t even believe myself but I suggested that we start over if he really was interested, that I didn’t hate him at all. So, we started over with texting for a few days which quickly became late night four hour phone conversations and we made plans again to meet.
On Jan 18th, he drove 45 miles through a blizzard to meet me for our first date (he refused to reschedule because of the weather because he said he didn’t want to lose me again) and we have spent the last 293 days juggling life, a 45 mile distance, my shared parenting schedule, and our job/my school schedules to begin building what will be our life together.
I just love our story…to think if either of us had decided to let the other be just a screenname our whole lives would be completely different.