posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
59 posts
Worker bee

doesn’t sound like a good idea. it sounds like he wants to be in complete control of this, i think it’d only upset the situation further.

its strange that you’re not even allowed to TALK about it though…

Post # 6
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Well if he doesn’t think it is the man’s job- go for it! That way you will know sooner than later… I would prepare yourself if he says no though- what would the future of your relationship be? Will you feel rejected? Will this be the end? 
Don’t go into this just ready to ask him- be prepared if the answer isn’t what you want it to be.

Post # 7
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You simply have to ask yourself whether he would be ok with you asking him. Is he very traditional or do you have a real blend of “male” and “female” roles in your relationship? 

Would he feel that you were genuinely asking, or that you had just become impatient?

Would his family and friends approve and how important is their approval to him?

Would you both be happy to tell the story of your engagement to everyone? 

There is no way that I could ever propose to my boyfriend. He is very traditional in that sense and would feel as if I didn’t know him at all. He would feel as if I had taken something very important and special away from him. 

BUT you did say that he waited for you to make your relationship official in the first place, so it sounds like he might be open to the idea!

The other question is: What if he has already planned out the proposal? Put money down for things? (limo, restaurant, photographer etc) Unless you think it will be more low-key and nothing will be really planned.

Also decide for yourself if you will feel as if you have robbed yourself of something. That is how I would feel – but everyone is different!

Keep us updated and if you decide that he would be ok with it and you would be ok with it – THEN GO FOR IT!


Post # 8
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Only you know your SO, but it does sound to me like he might want to take control of it. If you know that he would be okay with it, then I would go for it rather than just sitting back and waiting.

FWIW, my friend proposed to her Fiance with a ring. He didn’t have a ring for her at the time (so he was behind your BF) and then he got one and reproposed to her afterwards even though they were already engaged. He did it because he wanted to present the ring in a special way.

Post # 9
55 posts
Worker bee

I think Tickles brought up some really good points.

Post # 11
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Can’t wait to hear how you propose- good luck!

Post # 12
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@krazykat12: I was like that too, with the “no talking about it thing”, and stupidly mentioning it ONCE when he was actually planning it and feeling like I ruined it. I am soooooo with you there, and I think if you are comfortable and confident enough with yourself to propose to your man, you should do it, 100%/ Don’t be held back by silly chauvanistic traditions! I’d love to know what happens :o)

The topic ‘I MIGHT JUST ASK HIM!’ is closed to new replies.

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