- Miss Leopard
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
So I’ve just been feeling sad lately since my SO and I broke up. Its been almost 4 months since we broke up, and I just miss him SO MUCH. You can look through my previous threads to see why we broke up, but it still hurts. Its just hard when you think you have met the man you are going to build a life with, and then he is not willing to do things to show you he is ready to start a life with you.
We work for the same company, and I see him twice a week at work. Everytime I see him at my company, my heart gets a little pang in it. Oh! How I want to run up to him, and hug him, and lay my head on his chest. How I wish he was sleeping here next to me right now. I just miss him so much. It is palpable when we are in the same area of the store, I look at him and he looks at me and there is a world of pain there between us.
I was having such a hard time about a month ago that we sat down after work and had a heart to heart (our first contact since the breakup). And I told him “Look, I miss you so much. My heart breaks every time I see you. Can’t we work this out? Don’t you want us to work?”
And he said that yes, he still loves me. Yes, it kills him every time he sees me. Yes, he misses me every single day. But he “doesn’t know what I want from him.” And he “doesn’t think he will ever have the kind of ambition that I will need in a partner”.
I interpreted this as he is comfortable in his life like it is, and he would rather *lose me* than go back to school/find a better job/make some hard decisions about his debt.
I haven’t been on any dates since we broke up, I don’t even want to look at a guy. I thought by now we would be planning our wedding, not me sitting in a car begging him to make a decision that would save our future together.
It just really hurts guys, and I don’t know what to do……..