(Closed) I miss my ex-MIL…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Huggs!!!  Missing as in just dissapered?  Oh how horrible!!  Left wondering what happened and if she is coming back.  I think I would try to get some counseling or find a support group.  You really need that support I think.  I’ll pray for you that you find an answer for your missing Mother-In-Law.

Post # 4
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

 Awwwww Frown *hugs* to you.  

Post # 6
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hugs to you!  And I am happy that you found someone else.  She will always be your Mother-In-Law and she must be a strong lady!

Post # 7
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

she sounds amazing (((hugs))) so lucky to have that in your life from anyone… much less an ex-MIL. 

Post # 9
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Well she is the grandma right?  There is not reason to cut her out of your life and she seems like she loves the kids too.

Post # 10
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your ex-MIL sounds like an amazing woman, and I cannot blame you at all for wanting to remain in contact with her. She’s your children’s grandmother, and I don’t think any child was ever harmed by having too many people who loved them. As for holding onto the past – quite frankly, I can’t imagine that your fiance has anything to worry about, especially when it comes to an ex who left you and his children in the middle of the night.

Post # 11
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you should explain it to your fiance just like you’ve explained it to us: honestly.

She is the grandmother of your kids, so it’s kind of crazy to think that you should cut her out of your life just because you’re getting remarried. My mom was married before she married my dad, and my sisters are from her previous marriage. They continued to have relationships with their aunts and uncles and grandparents, even though their dad wasn’t a part of their lives. 

 

Post # 13
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do your kids think that FH is their biological father? That could complicate things for sure.

Post # 15
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Ms.Shamrock: This will be a lot of information, so hopefully it doesn’t end up too long. Until I was 25-years-old, I thought my biological father was Ted Smith (name changed), who was the father of my two older sisters. My mom divorced Ted because he had cheated on her, but she still loved him. Ted died when I was 4, during a trip he was making to remarry my mother. (Yup, poor timing.) I don’t have any memories of him – just photographs.

When I was 25, my mom told me, in a very emotional discussion, that my actual biological father was Buttface McAsshole (name changed 🙂 ). After my mom divorced Ted, she met Buttface, slept with him one time, and ended up pregnant. The extent of Buttface’s involvement in my life consisted of my mom walking past his house with me in a stroller, him coming outside and exclaiming, “What are you trying to do to me?!” and my mom explaining that she needed money for a security deposit so she could move into a new apartment, since her current one couldn’t accommodate a new child. He wrote a check and she never saw him again.

It would have meant the world to me had one of Buttface’s parents wanted to be involved in my life. Your kids have a grandparent who loves them. Don’t sever that connection because their father was an ass.

Post # 16
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry for your pain. I think you should explain to your FH how important SHE was to you, not her son and how much you need her in your life. I think he should definitely understand that. If your kids know that FH is not bio father then you can introduce the grandmom and start a relationship. If she is such an amazing woman, which she sounds like it, you should let her be a part of your children’s lives.

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